The Narcissist's Rant

Are we secular?

2011-11-07T19:28:00.007+05:30

Earlier this afternoon, a link was posted on my facebook wall by a friend. Here's that link.

My first instinct on reading the note was to dismiss it like I dismiss a lot of such trash everyday. Then, after sincere afterthought, I decided to engage with it constructively, since this discussion is happening within my own community and it becomes a duty of sorts for me to do so. Now, I'm writing without any inhibitions - from the perspective of a mature adult human to a group that I'm presuming to be one of mature adult humans. A lot of what I write might come across as irreverent and maybe even disrespectful to some people, though I wish to clarify right now that no disrespect is meant to any individual. My scorn here is 100% dedicated to thought processes & specific thoughts. This note would be open for everyone to read and comment on. However, I shall moderate the comments fiercely and will not tolerate anything that contravenes these ground rules.

(a) No personal attacks. I don't know you & you don't know me. So, please don't make any assumptions or observations about what I (or anybody else) am (is) & what I (or anybody else) do(es).

(b) Keep the discussion to the point. The point being made here is on the secular nature of India with some arguments & counter-arguments. Getting individuals & specific political parties into it is illegit.

(c) If you're stating something as a fact (as opposed to an argument based on opinion), a source would be desirable. In the absence of a credible source, please be prepared to accept your argument as based on opinion.

I've numbered the points made in the original article, as a lot of my responses would be referencing other responses in the same post. Numbering makes it easier for the reader to follow. So, here goes...

1. There are about 52 Muslim countries worldwide. Point at just one Muslim country which provides Haj subsidy.

--> Totally agree. But let's talk about us & only us. We shouldn't bother ourselves with whether other countries do it or not. The question should be...whether India should provide Hajj subsidies or not. My take is...it shouldn't. Neither should it provide any for Amarnath, Kailash-Mansarovar, Kumbh etc. With the multitude of faiths followed in our country, its practically & economically impossible for the government to provide subsidies for pilgrimages of all faiths. So, they should be provided to none.

2. Show one Muslim country where Hindus are extended the special rights that Muslims are accorded in India?

--> Why should Muslim countries be the benchmarks for what a secular country ought to do? Isn't that a twisted argument by itself? I was irritated the first time I encountered it, I'm peeved now. And this question is extremely vague otherwise. What special rights are we talking about? I'd rather engage with something specific than undergo the futility of assumption.

3. Show one country where the population with a whooping 85% majority panders to the indulgence of the 15% minority.

---> Again...very vague & incendiary. Specifics please...what pandering? What indulgence?

4. Show one Muslim country, where a non-Muslim has ever been its President or Prime Minister.

--> First instance - irritated. Second instance - peeved. Third instance - my patience is being tested.

5. Show one Mullah or Maulvi who has issued a 'fatwa' against terrorists.

--> Ask Google. They'll show you many.

6. Hindu-majority Maharashtra, Bihar, Kerala, Pondicherry, etc. have in the past elected Muslims as its Chief Minister. But can you ever imagine a Hindu becoming the CM of the Muslim majority J&K?

--> Yes. I can imagine. Kashmiris are far more secular than we give them credit for. Its just fringe groups (on both sides, interestingly) that display religious intolerance. If you want, I can have both Hindu & Muslim Kashmiris to substantiate my claims. Now, ask yourself if you can imagine Hindu majority Gujarat or Madhya Pradesh to have a Muslim CM.

My rhetorical question was asked with a fairly different intention than the one it was in response to. While the original question was aimed at projecting Muslims as intolerant & Hindus as all-encompassing, my response was to prove the original question to be of a rhetorical nature.

7. In 1947, when India was partitioned, the Hindu population in Pakistan was about 24%.Today it it barely accounts for even 1%.

--> And the point is?

8. In 1947, the Hindu population in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh) was 30%. Today it is about 7%.

--> Again...the point is?

9. In contrast, in India, Muslim population has gone up from 10.4% in 1951 to about 16% today; whereas the Hindu population has come down from 87.2% in 1951 to 85% today.

--> Why in contrast? What's the relevance? Now, if I were to look at these figures as a standalone, there might be some inferences that can be drawn from it...but none that could relate to the secular nature of India. If there is any, please enlighten me. :)

10. In India today the Hindus account for 85% of the total population. If Hindus were intolerant, how come Masjids and Madrasas are thriving? How come Muslims are allowed to offer Namaz on the roads? How come Muslims are permitted to proclaim five times in a day on public address systems that there is no other God except Allah?

--> Nobody claims that Hindus are intolerant. Blanket generalisations are the product of an unscientific mindset, something which seems to be inherent in the person asking these questions. Yes...there is a fringe element amongst Hindus that is hugely intolerant. And if they were to have their way, Masjids & Madarsas wouldn't have thrived; Muslims wouldn't have been able to offer the namaz on the road and P.A. systems wouldn't have been blaring the azaan.

11. When Hindus gave away to the Muslims 30% of Bharat along with seed-money in 1947, why should Hindus now have to plead to that community for their sacred places at Ayodhya, Mathura and Kashi?

--> The question exhibits a complete lack of knowledge regarding the events sorrounding the independence & partition (I use that word for the lack of a better one). First of all, Hindus didn't give away anything. Second, the division was one of land and not faith. Any further response would be giving undue importance to an insulting question.

12. Gandhiji objected to the decision of the then Cabinet of Ministers and insisted that Somnath Temple should be reconstructed out of public funds and not government funds. Why then in January 1948 did Gandhiji pressurize Nehru and Patel to carry out renovation of the Mosques of Delhi at government expenses?

--> That question could have been better answered by Gandhi. Unfortunately, he's no longer amongst us.

13. Why did Gandhi support the Khilafat Movement which had nothing to do with our freedom movement and what did he get in exchange?

--> Quoting the Wikipedia entry for the Khilafat Movement...

In 1920 an alliance was made between Khilafat leaders and the Indian National Congress, the largest political party in India and of the nationalist movement. Congress leader Mohandas Gandhi and the Khilafat leaders promised to work and fight together for the causes of Khilafat and Swaraj. Seeking to increase pressure on the British, the Khilafatists became a major part of the Non-cooperation movement — a nationwide campaign of mass, peaceful civil disobedience. The support of the Khilafatists helped Gandhi and the Congress ensure Hindu-Muslim unity during the struggle.

14. If Muslims and Christians are minorities in Maharashtra, UP, Bihar some other States, are Hindus not minorities in J&K, Mizoram, Nagaland, Arunachal Pradesh, Meghalaya, etc? Why are Hindus denied minority rights in these states?

--> So you agree that certain rights should be accorded to minorities. Or don't you? Your first few points say they shouldn't. Make up your mind as to where you stand. Decrying something when it doesn't suit you & celebrating the same when it does - last I knew, its called opportunism.

15. When Haj pilgrims are given subsidy, why is a similar facility not extended to Hindu pilgrims to Amarnath, Sabarimalai and Kailash Mansarovar?

--> Refer to my response to point # 1.

16. When Christian and Muslim schools can teach Bible and Quran, why Hindus cannot teach the Gita or the Ramayan in Hindu managed schools?

--> Why are you so enamoured with two wrongs making one right? IMO, philosophy & comparitive religion should be taught in schools & colleges as an elective subject and all these texts, along with those for Judaism, Buddhism, Sikhism etc. should be made part of it.

17. Do you recognise that Hindus do have problems that need to be addressed? Or do you think that some of those who call themselves Hindus are themselves the problem?

--> I'll answer the second part of the question first. Some people who call themselves Hindus, and often the saviours of Hindus too, are the problem. Now, the first part. That's a really devious question. Generally speaking, Hindus do not have problems on account of being a Hindu. If someone who's a Hindu has a certain problem, the same problem would be faced by people following other faiths too. Does that put it in perspective?

18. Why incidents in Godhra are blown out of proportion repeatedly, when no-one talks of the ethnic cleansing of four lakh Hindu Pandits from Kashmir?

--> Again...an ill-informed question. "Blown out of proportion" is a subjective term. As for the "ethnic cleansing", here's something that'll puncture that argument.

19. DO YOU CONSIDER THAT:

* Sanskrit is communal and Urdu is secular
* Mandir is communal and Masjid is secular
* Sadhu is communal and Imam is secular
* BJP is communal and Muslim League is secular
* Praveen Togadia is anti-national and Bhukari is secular and a patriot
* Vande Matharam is communal and Allah-O-Akbar is secular
* Shriman is communal and Mian is secular
* Hinduism is communal and Islam is secular
* Hindutva is communal and Jihadism is secular

--> I was waiting to see something like this. A classic propaganda tool, False Choice has been employed in these points. They don't deserve a response.

20. Why Temple funds are spent for the welfare of Muslims and Christians, when those communities are free to spend their money in any way they like?

--> Now that's a joke. First of all, I wonder about the veracity of the claim that temple funds have been used for the welfare of Muslims & Christians. Now, even if I assume that, purely for the sake of argument, it still remains the private business & prerogative of the temple trust that has used the funds in that manner. Why should it bother me or you? Moreover, it just proves the secular nature of India and the anti-secular nature of the person asking this question.

21. Why is there no Uniform Civil Code for all citizens?

--> The first sensible question in this long list. Its a no-brainer that we need a Uniform Civil Code.

22. In what way, J&K is different from Maharashtra, Tamil Nadu or Uttar Pradesh, to enjoy the benefits of Article 370?

--> Grant that too. Article 370 is a blot on our democracy.

23. Abdul Rehman Antulay was in the past made a trustee of the renowned Siddhi Vinayak Temple in Prabhadevi, Mumbai. Will a Hindu, say Mulayam or Laloo, ever be ever made a trustee of a Masjid or Madrasa?

--> Refer to my response for point # 6.

24. Praveen Togadia and other Hindu leaders has been arrested many times on flimsy grounds. Has the Shahi Imam of Jama Masjid, Delhi or Ahmed Bhukari have ever been arrested for claiming to be an ISI agent and advocating partition of our nation?

--> On Togadia, yes...he has been arrested many times on flimsy grounds. I just hope he's arrested once for what he really is (a communal jerk) and locked up for life.

The last that I knew, the Shahi Imam of Jama Masjid & Bukhari were the same person. And I never knew he'd claimed to be an ISI agent or had advocated partition. Can I be pointed to some credible source for that? Anyways, he's a communal jerk just like Togadia & should be locked up for life.

25. We have had a Muslim President, a Sikh Prime Minister and a Christian Defence Minister so why do still need to prove our secularism every now and then?

--> Who's asking us to prove our secularism? Except for articles like these?

26. Can this happen anywhere, except in a HINDU NATION - BHARATH?

--> We're not a "Hindu Nation". If that's what you desire to live in, Nepal's just next door. Please leave. We can do better without your likes.

The pen, the sword & corruption

2011-08-26T23:15:00.004+05:30

More often than not, whenever someone has questioned the limitations of the IAC movement for the passing of the Jan Lokpal Bill, the spontaneous response of the pro-Anna zealots has been the age old counter-attack levelled at the pen - "Have you done anything yourself? If not, why are you criticising others who are doing it"? To a mind conditioned on today's popular culture, this refrain resonates deeply. After all, aren't we the same generation that grew up watching our beloved heroes in films struggling against the villains all throughout and in the end, having to resort to beating them up to set things right? The sword has always held a greater allure than the pen in our collective consciousness. The minuscule number of films that did try to restore a balance were mostly dismissed as "boring art films" by the audience addicted to adrenaline & testosterone. This call of the zealots to act instead of what they feel is intellectualising from ivory towers is a subconscious reaffirmation of the primacy of the sword over the pen.

In the heat of the moment, it maybe understandable, though in no way reasonable, for us to succumb to this conditioning that owes itself to what we consciously know to be mere fiction. Don't we ourselves justify the tripe that's fed to us week after week saying chalta hai...entertainment hi to hai? If we use a manufacturing analogy to illustrate the relationship between the pen and the sword, we have a design engineer who works from the cool confines of an office with at least a fan, if not an A/C and a worker who toils in the midst of the enormous heat generated by the smelter & furnace. Point being that while debate can't undermine the importance of action, the other way round is just as stupid and impractical. If the absence of action makes a process a no-starter, the absence of debate makes it a ticking bomb, threatening to explode anytime. So, its high time we shake ourselves out of this conditioning and start thinking rationally, try to go deeper than what might seem obvious at face value - in short, let's not undermine the importance of the pen anymore. Its pretty clear that we, as a nation, have lost the patience for reading and hence, feel it to be an exercise in redundance, for don't we know everything already? If we think so, we can't be any further from the truth. Our educational setup, with its preoccupation with grades, marks, ranks and such relatively irrelevant motifs doesn't help.

But is it that easy to shed off the conditioning we've been subjected to, all our lives? I agree, its not. Its a painstaking process, borne out of difficult reflection within ourselves. Often, we have to confront our strongly built belief systems. Often, we have to go through social ridicule just for thinking differently. Often, we have to suffer ignominies of the worst kind for attempting to display any irreverence towards what this conditioning, in its larger form of the social value system of a time & place. Its rigorous like nobody's business, but it's necessary and there are no shortcuts to it. Unless we walk through this difficult path ourselves, right to the destination, we can't free ourselves from the shackles of conditioning. And no amount of coercion or pressure can make us walk it if we ourselves are unwilling to do so.

The corruption that we're suddenly so repulsed of over the last few months is an integral part of our conditioning. Whatever strata of society we might belong to, our lives can't remain untouched by corruption. Each of us has to engage with it every single day, be it as a victim, a perpetrator or even a mute spectator. And just like the romanticism of the sword looms large on our consciousness due to our engagement with cinema of a certain kind, the ether of corruption too pervades it just as much due to our everyday engagement with various hues & shades of corruption. We have internalised the mechanisms, the lexicon & the culture of corruption deeply and even though we're consciously aware of the fact that it's not desirable, our subconscious frequently tweaks our conscience in matters of corruption. The economically backward section of the upper castes will justify using a fake caste certificate to get a job in the name of necessity. Little is he aware that he's trampling upon someone else's right like the NREGS agent trampled upon his. The upper middle class father casually shoves a 100 rupee note into the hands of a constable who has caught him jumping a red light, blissfully aware that his 6 year old son is watching and internalising something that'll help him 15 years later when he's caught driving after downing 6 pegs. Life goes on.

Corruption is not merely about money - that would be reducing it to too simplistic an issue. Instead, its a systemic product of the myriad frictions inherent in our socio-economic setup and thus, a metamorphic entity unlike the demon figure attributed to it in popular lore. For a casual labourer, it would be something on the lines of him getting only Rs.50 a day under the NREGS, the rest going to various mouths in the bureaucratic food chain. For a Class IV municipal employee in a city, it could mean having to pay Rs.5 instead of Rs.2 per kg of rice to his PDS agent and getting only 5kg a month instead of the 10 allotted to him. For a student in a municipal school, it might mean having to study under the severe summer sun while the school building is rented out for a wedding function. For the student in an international school in a metro, it could be having to bribe the traffic cop for riding his bike without a license. For an upper middle class student trying for higher education abroad, it could mean bribing the passport official to get his passport fast-tracked. You get the drift. Point being, to some its an evil that threatens their very existence. To some others, its a source of frustration. To some more, its a convenience. And to a few, its a tool to victimise the others.

Given this fluid nature of corruption, the legislative route is not an ideal way to combat it. Ever heard of a cholera endemic being cured by dropping chlorine tablets in the municipal water supply? Won't help as long as proper food, sanitation & proper nursing are not part of the picture. Legislation needs to be well-defined in terms of its scope and scale. But how can we define something that means different things to different people in the context of a legislation where black and white is pure compulsion? If we were to have laws to cover everything that could constitute corruption, we'll keep doing just that till the cows come back home. Even if we were to achieve this seemingly impossible goal, there are other bigger roadblocks. The sheer volume of cases could overwhelm our judicial structures. And after all that, these laws would do nothing to change our social value systems that have shaped and gotten entrenched over centuries. So while the statistics on cases, prosecutions and sentences might convey a picture that corruption is well under check, the systemic rot from within will get from bad to worse and then beyond.

One might ask, what's the need for legislation then? The need is one of handling residual corruption, because if left unchecked, residual corruption can blossom into the same monster that we're feeling threatened by in recent times. One might ask further, how do we bring down the gigantic levels of corruption that we're seeing now to a residual level? By bringing about a positive change in our collective social consciousness. For that, we'll have to focus our energies at the very entities that determine the conscience, thus making it largely a two pronged struggle. The first would be at the most basic unit of our social structure - the family, gradually working its way upwards in the social hierarchy. The second will have to begin at the top echelons of the state and then percolate down to the individual citizen through the civic structure. And make no mistake, we cannot take a shortcut around this painstakingly long route to a healthier society.

At the family level, we could begin with inculcating the values of honesty, transparency & tolerance into our children. The only way this is possible is if we lead by example. As they grow up, we'll need to help build their thought process on the lines of reasoned & critical thought. We should provide them with a holistic environment while they grow up in terms of optimum stress on nutrition, physical activity & intellectual stimulation along with the education they get in school. We need to engage with them on subjects hitherto considered taboo and educate them instead of blocking them out as is the norm. This will give us a generation that'll score far higher than us on their emotional & social quotient who are a far better bet to uphold the basic principles of public propriety compared to our generation, that's stuck in the firm clutches of a corrupt social value system.

The state on the other hand, should work with the quality of life of the citizens as its top priority. This quality of life could be defined as access to quality food, quality education, quality healthcare, quality infrastructure, clean & fair governance & varied and ample vocational opportunities. The attitude of the state should be that of an enabler instead of a big brother. There will have to be a concentrated effort on the part of the state to win over a strong sense of faith within its citizens, making the approachability of the state a crucial factor.

Listing out the ideal approach to combat corruption took barely two paragraphs but the job is easier said than done. The state's part of the bargain is something that could take decades as consensus is a rather scarce commodity in this diverse nation. The difficulty level will be elevated further due to the sheer scale of the job at hand. But all this would seem like child's play in comparison with the other prong of this struggle. The bottoms-up change will be contingent to individuals rising above the prejudices inherent in their subconscious and bravely confronting their conscience at regular intervals. And till the efforts from the state converge with its opposite prong, this will be one uphill battle for we'll have to emerge victorious in this battle at an individual level without the support of reasonable quality of life from the state. Once we reach this stage of convergence though, both the prongs of the struggle will feed into each other and we'll have a far more coherent final lap in this marathon.

Can we expect the state to follow its end of the bargain as things stand now? Perhaps not. And that's where the current revolution should move now. To the political arena. We need an infusion of fresh blood into our political circles. Fresh blood with a pragmatic vision and a common agenda of delivering on the "quality of life for everyone" promise. In my next piece, I shall outline my views on what this fresh blood would be walking into. In other words, a vision, ideology & broad agenda for a vibrant & progressive India.

I'm against corruption but I'm not with Anna Hazare

2011-08-23T12:39:00.006+05:30

I've been keenly following the current debate on our current political scenario through television & the internet (including online editions of several newspapers & magazines) ever since a "nation-wide" struggle against "corruption" broke out in late march. I used quotes on two words in the previous sentence because these words are key to the movement in question, but in my opinion (painstakingly contemplated, if I may claim so), are either debatable or vague or both...though the point of this piece is not to debate or define them. That has been done extensively and yet yielded no result (the debate remaining just as polarised and the definitions just as vague). What I'm attempting to do here is to dig a little deeper into the larger debate and put forward a new perspective to it. I suppose it goes without saying that this piece, in its entirety, is my opinion stemming forth from my world-view and does not claim to be the absolute truth. However, what I write here is something I strongly believe in and am willing to debate it constructively within the rules of civil debate.

The most damning characteristic of the debate has been its oversimplification. True to our nature as a people, we have royally ignored the shades of grey in this debate and have looked only at the black and white. To the extent that even grey has been slotted into black or white according to the commenter's perspective. Voices dissenting against the specific stand of the self-appropriated "civil society representation" have been labelled cynical beyond redemption or in some extreme cases, even pro-corruption. This rigid & exclusive nature of our movements has again spawned a cacophony of fragmented voices speaking in unison and as a result, losing all coherence. What's truly shocking is the standard of debate amongst the urban elite, especially the corporate crowd - exposing their naivete & complete lack of political awareness. Everybody has a stand on corruption, in some cases, even extreme (full support for capital punishment in cases of corruption), but hardly anyone has stood up to impeccable values himself. The disgustingly self-righteous (and I have no qualms in accepting that I myself was a part of this group till not so long ago) sneer at the police constable pocketing a petty bribe but casually go about procuring fake bills from the local chemist towards the end of the financial year in order to save a few hundred in taxes. And in the face of an argument to rationalize (not condone) the behaviour of the constable on the basis of his paltry income, they assume a moral high ground questioning the constable's desire to get his children educated in a good school. Sad part is that they aren't even remotely aware of their double standards, leave alone confront them.

Corruption is deeply ingrained into our moral fibre and it would need much more than mere legislation for us to get rid of it. The media-driven mass hysteria over the Lokpal bill has catapulted a majority of our population into a zone of complacence that the bill would be a panacea to our sufferings. Suddenly, issues such as whether the PM & Judiciary should be brought under the ambit of the Lokpal (which IMO are secondary) have become matters of prime importance for us. Let me go back a couple of years and talk about the Lokayukta institution in Karnataka. Justice N.Santosh Hegde (a "civil society representative" member of the Joint committee on the Lokpal bill), as the then Lokayukta had taken a strong stand against illegal mining in the Bellary district. The kingpins of this mining operation were MLA's belonging to the ruling party in the state and they continued with their misdeeds, undeterred by the Lokayukta's stand. After much drama that included Justice Hegde's resignation & subsequent U-turn, ironically at the behest of the president of the same ruling party, the Bellary brothers still continue their mining operations, untouched by law. A case that laid bare the toothlessness of the institution of the Ombudsman when faced with government & bureaucratic apathy. And from a certain extreme perspective, even raised questions about the integrity of the incumbent.

Today's youth shuns politics, understandably so. Civil activist Arvind Kejriwal, on a TV interview with Karan Thapar, quipped, "What if I don't want to contest elections?" to a question as to why he took the route of agitation instead of making his voice heard through parliament. And while I understand his cynicism, I certainly don't approve of it. For IMO, our constitution provides for a certain system of legislation, the current dictating of terms by the "civil society representatives" is setting a dangerous precedent by subverting the constitutional mechanism for legislation. In fact, I would even go back a few steps and disapprove of the government allowing this self-appropriated group to join the process of legislation though inclusion in a joint drafting committee (the constitution allows for the civil society voice to be heard through the Standing Committee). Just as much as I disapprove of the National Advisory Council. My point of discontent is not against individual members of the NAC or the "civil society representation" (I hold quite a few of them in high regard), but its rather against their extra-constitutional say in legislation.

A counter-argument to my point in the paragraph above, often used in recent times by the "civil society representatives", is that it is a constitutional right of the people to question their elected representatives during their term. Rightly so. But remember, we're just talking a right to question here. Nowhere does our constitution allow for groups to muscle their way into the legislative process. The right begins and ends at questioning the representatives. What good would that do, one may ask, if we can't take any action against the wrongdoings of the elected representatives? The answer to that is simple - we don't vote that person or party during the next election. This is what the constitution allows us. That's a whole lot of power, though we've grossly underused it over the decades. And today, if we have the most corrupt government we've ever seen, its because we never questioned. As they say, in a democracy, we get the government we deserve.

Even if I were to look beyond that as technical mumbo-jumbo, my larger disillusionment from this movement stems from its lack of clarity & coherence. I wonder whether its a movement against corruption because a crushing majority of the people on the streets are there due to their frustration with a hugely dysfunctional system. And that does gladden my heart like never before. It shows that we're not apathetic beasts of circumstance, but human beings who have suddenly risen from dormancy. But then, I'm confronted with the leadership of this movement (Anna Hazare, Arvind Kejriwal, Kiran Bedi & the Bhushans) and trust me, its a killjoy. For they seem to have just a single point agenda - getting "their version" of the Lokpal Bill passed on the floor of the house. Their silence & dismissiveness towards anything other than their draft of the bill smacks of a certain shallowness, shortsightedness & a tendency to play to the galleries. I often wonder- what next? There's no answer coming forth from the leadership of this movement. And with the stage gradually filling up with members of the existing political class that's already bereft of any ideology, it becomes as elementary as the quip directed at Dr.Watson that the momentum arising out of the groundswell of public engagement will eventually be appropriated by the very system that the common man abhors.

I thought of giving the leadership of the movement a further benefit of doubt by assuming a substantial stand against corruption on their part. And that's when I hit a roadblock in the form of their specific agenda itself. Why do we need a Lokpal in the first place? And my thoughts on this have been very succintly articulated (far better than I myself could) by Nitin Pai here.

Let's face it, we are a country of paradoxes. One of the most glaring being our ambitions & allusions of becoming an economic superpower co-existing with the massive scale of poverty. Our democracy has invariably been victim to these imbalances, whether we like it or not. These imbalances have brought about unwanted factors like religion, caste, money and muscle-power into our politics, thus resulting in the demise of positive political will towards governance.

Now, I'm not being completely cynical and saying that corruption can't be weeded out of our system. What I am saying is that I wonder if we 30-somethings will ever get to see the end of this malaise in our lifetimes. For we're currently languishing in a system not different from the Augean Stables. The question facing us 30-somethings (and others too, for that matter) is whether we're ready to soil ourselves in order to clean the system. To begin with, we need to revitalize our political space with something it has been lacking since decades - idealism & ideology. My debut as a voter was during the 1996 general elections and I remember voting with a bubbling enthusiasm. But I haven't let the ballot ink touch my nails ever since then, despite the monumental efforts of the powers that be to present my right to vote as a duty. Not because I was amongst the millions of my generation who were apathetic towards politics but because not once have I seen a political party match the eloquence of its election manifesto with equally eloquent action. Not once have I heard an election campaign being delivered from an ideological plank. Rhetoric & personal insinuations remain the bulwark of every single election campaign, irrespective of the political party it belongs to.

The bottomline? There's no denying the need for urgency in the fight against corruption. But we should understand two core aspects of this fight very clearly before we plunge into the fight. One, the urgency is for action and not for a solution. The problem is a systemic one and we all are a part of the problem. So, there can be no quick fix to this. It'll take years, maybe even decades if we are to reduce our corruption levels to residual and manageable. Two, this fight would involve huge sacrifices on our part. It's easy to say that we won't bribe a traffic cop if caught or the 100 rupees bakshish for birth/death certificates. But a tough stand against corruption goes beyond that. Remember, we would have to refuse donations for our children's admissions to a good school and as a result, our children might be forced to go to schools that we normally wouldn't want them to study in. Or we would have to refuse to work for a corrupt organisation, thereby reducing our incomes considerably or even putting us into unemployment. We would have to refuse to buy products & services from corrupt organisations, thereby hitting our cozy lifestyles. And these are just some examples. This fight will be a tough one indeed.

Updates : For those who might've felt this piece incomplete, there are more to follow. And did anyone notice howcorporate India has been piggy-backing on this movement already? You haven't? Oh well...I've seen tonnes of ads promoting Anna Hazare merchandise on various blogs & social media. And they say this is a pristine movement untouched by corruption of any kinds.

Review : Rakht Charitra

2010-10-26T12:45:00.000+05:30

I discarded my first draft of this review and have restarted again. The act owes itself to a guilty conscience of having suggested Rakht Charitra to a friend while walking out of the theatre. The recommendation was honest and I would still recommend it to fans of Ram Gopal Varma. There seemed to be a marked improvement in several aspects that had been his forte but had slowly turned into indulgent excesses in his later films. But when I sat down to write this piece, each of those improvements had a caveat attached to it. Which made me wonder whether this was a reversal in the trend or just a breather in the downward spiral. So out went that draft and I begin afresh without letting either Ramu's erstwhile fanboy or one of his biggest critic in recent times take over my objectivity.

Despite the caveats, I do want to mention a few things that led to my initial positive response. These are things that used to be the forte of RGV till they morphed into indulgent excesses in recent years. There are some scenes involving visceral violence that are bound to put off the sensitive ones and in some cases, even give bouts of discomfort to the hardened ones. There's a marked improvement in the cinematography with the lighting being much better than the trademark darkness of his films. The cutting is much more relaxed than usual and as a result, one can soak in some finer details from the scenes. The fact that Ramu is on home ground (Andhra, politics, violence) also throws up a few nuanced touches like the jewelry & costumes. Most importantly, there was a sincere enough attempt at doing justice to the biopic of a politician/mafiosi.

Now, the caveats. The violence is borrowed straight out of the Takeshi Kitano school of reel gore. The fact that I had watched Kitano's Outrage (a film depicting some ingenious ways of killing) just the previous day made it all the more irritating. The attempt at doing justice to the subject sadly remained just that, an attempt. There could have been quite a few interesting characters that could have represented a fuller picture of the political reality of that time, but they all end up in cliched mediocrity…either cutouts or false-starters or non-starters. And while the cinematography did impress me largely, there was a noticeable smattering of weird angles (one of them involving a complete rotation of perspective…migraine inducing).

The feeling that Ramu could have lost it all gets strength from some parts of the film that go fair and square into the absurd territory. There's this character of a female police officer played by Ashwini Kalsekar that defies all logic on the reason for her presence in the film and the attention given to her. Talking of police, I also wonder if there was any hidden symbolism in getting a senior police officer to obsess on chewing a stick of sugarcane in his only scene in the film. And of course, the no Ramu film can be complete without the ever present loud BGM. To add to the cacophony in Rakht Charitra, we have a voiceover narration which features a screechy voice, amateurishly written lines (there are at least 3 different dialects of hindi used in the voiceover) and redundant contribution (whatever the voiceover says is explained again through visuals).

Glaring inconsistencies in the writing also make me wonder about the application (or the lack of it) in the scripting process. We have another police officer (also in his only scene in the film) first mentioning that the police should work within the framework of the law and within a minute talks about the police playing their "game" at the right time. The film is set in a fictitious town (Anandpur as opposed to the real Anantapur) with fictitious names (Pratap Ravi as opposed to the real Paritala Ravi) but a certain part of the film mentions the real name of a building where a crucial event in the film takes place just to stress on the realism quotient.

As mentioned earlier, most of the characters are badly written. The only exception is that of the psychotic & debauched Bukka Reddy (Abhimanyu Singh), the main villain. But Abhimanyu fails the character with his monotonous expression. The performances display a similar graph…regulation stuff from the actors with one explosive performance slightly redeeming a badly written character. Shatrughan Sinha packs a punch in his performance as Shivaji Rao (the NT Rama Rao parallel) but the character (one of the biggest names in the political history of independent India) is reduced to a cardboard cutout that can be found in any Ramu film involving politics. The other actors are mostly pedestrian.

I had gone into the film expecting a larger than life biopic. And what I got was a very cliched treatment of the subject. Interestingly, Ramu is doing a Kill Bill with Rakht Charitra. There's a sequel releasing in 4 weeks. Rakht Charitra concludes with a trailer of the sequel. And this is the first time I'm rooting for the film not to stay true to its trailer. The trailer is making it out to be a revenge drama. What I would have expected was the blanks in the political drama to be filled up. Even if the sequel does so to a reasonable extent in the background of the revenge drama, I would come out satisfied. Here's hoping for the disconnect between promos & films to continue with Rakht Charitra - II.

उड़ान

2010-08-09T00:36:00.004+05:30

This piece of poetry, my first in Hindi, is inspired by Udaan, Vikramaditya Motwane's debut film. While watching the film, I pondered on the interpretation of flight as used in the title of the film. And that led to a thought on how we all perceive the term FLIGHT in different ways. I wrote the piece as a freeform experiment where I used the interpretation of flight as a metaphor while describing the disillusionment amongst youth, the abject materialism of the flower-power generation and the misguided spirituality of the senior citizens. The difference is further accentuated by the shifts in language and context in the 3 stanzas. Without much ado...

उड़ान

मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ...

सितारों को छूने के लिए नहीं
चाँद को चूमने के लिए नहीं
और न ही सूरज से ज़िद आज़माने को

मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ दुनिया को पीछे छोड़ जाने को|

जहाँ सपने कागज़ के बेमायने टुकड़ों में बस जाते हैं
जहाँ आगे बढ़ने की होड़ में सब पीछे छूट जाते हैं
जहाँ हमें सब कुछ खोना मंज़ूर है कागज़ के उन टुकड़ों को पाने को
मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ दुनिया को पीछे छोड़ जाने को|

मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ...

पर पॅकेज डील के लिए नहीं
फ्रीक्वेंट फ्लायर माइल्स के लिए नहीं
और न ही अपना स्टेटस उछालने को

मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ अपना कीमती वक्त बचाने को|

अभी टैक्स लाएबिलिटी पर सर घुमाना बाकी है
अभी प्रोमोशनल कैम्पेन का जुलूस निकालना बाकी है
अभी और भी बहुत सी जिम्मेदारियां हैं निभाने को
मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ अपना कीमती वक्त बचाने को|

मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ...

मुक्ति के उन्माद के लिए नहीं
सत्चिदानन्द के स्वाद के लिए नहीं
और न ही किसी सिद्धि को पाने को

मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ स्वामी की नाक उठाने को|

स्वामी का वचन ही एक सत्य है बाकी सब है माया
स्वामी की मीठी वाणी में सबने है प्रभु पाया
स्वामी को जो न माने प्रण है उनको तुच्छ दिखाने को
मैं उड़ना चाहता हूँ स्वामी की नाक उठाने को|

Fuck you very much

2010-01-08T03:23:00.002+05:30

This was a year end piece of poetry I'd written as a tribute to all the people & things that touched my life in 2009. The piece is titled Fuck You Very Much.

You knocked at my door twice this year.
Your tongue is honeyed, yet stings like a spear.
With a fistful of salt, we take each word you’ve spoken.
For all your promises are made to be broken.
You’re a marvel of sorts, O politician dear.
Fuck you very much.

I grew up watching you with involved and awestruck eyes.
I learnt a lot from you, virtue & vice.
But the relationship veered off the map.
As all you dish out these days is inane crap.
Pity, O idiot box, only in your old form were you nice.
Fuck you very much.

And then there’s this demon called corporate slavery.
I engaged with it all along mistaking it for bravery.
It forced me to compromise my values.
Good I realized in time I’d paid more than my dues.
And welcomed an uncertain freedom in lieu if a unsatisfactory salary.
Fuck you very much.

How can I leave out the dogma of society?
The repression of masses in the name of piety.
They say there’s only one right way.
And the thousands preaching them are always at bay.
Shunning any semblance of sobriety.
Fuck you very much.

Last but not the least, is you, the common man.
You keep absorbing this shit like nobody else can.
You’re in love with status quo.
Positive initiatives are always met with your NO NO.
You disgust me no end with your “Chalta Hai” deadpan.
Fuck you very much.

My journey – Marriage, Divorce, Subsequent Love & Freedom

2009-12-04T13:59:00.001+05:30

I was among the chosen few.
Who was deemed to be of virtue.
So I was married off at 9.
With all the pomp & show that was due.

I was deflowered in full public view.
And I, young & naïve, didn’t know what to do.
I couldn’t understand or relate to anything being done.
So I just sat there and gazed into the endless blue.

And then began those sessions twice a day.
That were an endless pain but I had no say.
They’ll make me a complete being, I was told.
But 3 years without a break, not one fulfilling day.

I was 12 when the wall broke & my faith stood shattered.
My reasoning had failed and my patience was battered.
I rebelled against society, and they hated me for it.
But by then, it was me, and me only that mattered.

Self-destruction was the name of the game then on.
I coasted by on the dark road lit by neon.
Cause something still bothered me, I wasn’t complete yet.
And only the path to completion would usher in a new dawn.

Finally, dawn broke, and I’m on the path to completion.
My gut says its right and it also stands to reason.
I’m in love now, and it feels so great.
Fulfillment is now the flavour of the season.

Ironically though, the path was never far from me.
Cause my love and ex-spouse are descendants of the same tree.
My aversion for my ex-spouse guided me to my love.
I could see beyond religion and find the path to truth – I’m free.

Modern Day Education

2009-12-04T13:51:00.004+05:30

The young man dressed dapper for his interview.
Attuned to corporate fashion was he, from hair gel to shoe.
His CV was 4 pages long; it made him look like a King Kong.
But he was still part of a protozoan zoo.
A product of modern day education.

He excelled at everything in and out of class.
He knew he was on his way to fame en masse.
He aced all his tests; for he was none less than the best.
But standing was he on a shallow tower of glass.
A product of modern day education.

For he was bred in a system that thrived on robots.
Where the likes of him were methodically manufactured in lots.
Where he was trained to follow the rule; at home and at school.
Where human creativity was reduced to naught.
A product of modern day education.

“We’re the new IT superpower”, everyone screamed their voices hoarse.
The service industry was the new economic main course.
We need process orientation; so thinking & research can go into hibernation.
And all set to conquer the world are we, with our human workforce.
All products of modern day education.

But wait a minute, my friend, is the workforce really human?
Or is it just an army of trained preprogrammed operators, instead of a thinking man & woman?
We’re well equipped with the HOW and WHAT; it’s the WHY that poses some food for thought.
How aligned is our education with questioning, logic & reason?
That for you, is modern day education.

Token Activists

2009-10-30T14:46:00.003+05:30

Well...I'm enjoying my poetry. :)

The recent controversy surrounding the Wall Project was a topic of hot conversation all over. Now...I'm COMPLETELY FOR such projects. And I'm COMPLETELY AGAINST any damage done to such things of beauty. Having said that, it was the arrogance of the outrage combined with the indifference of the "activists" towards so many other issues far more critical that inspired me to write this piece.

Where do you vanish when passers-by spew paan & tobacco on walls & roads?
Where do you vanish when people dump garbage all over in loads?
I’d love to know your whereabouts when the silence of the night is drowned by speakers blasting to the max.
Or when walls along railway tracks are adorned with graffiti advertising quacks.

Two big inconveniences we face are political rallies and religious processions.
Speak up against them if you have the balls, instead of signing mindless online petitions.
Take a stand against POP idols and vicious rhetoric thrown around in rallies.
Pink chaddis aren’t enough to counter the ill-effects of this malice.

You marched with candles when your comfort zones were attacked.
There were dozens of online groups “championing causes”, that each of you backed.
But all that enthusiasm fizzled out in less than a year.
True champions last way longer than that, I’m sure.

You think that an involvement of 6 months can clean up 60 years of mess.
So you take a sabbatical to join the political process.
You have no idea about issues concerning the grassroots.
Farmer suicides? Education? Employment? Aaah!!! I’m only concerned about stock market collapses, about the rest I care two hoots.

You’re a great specimen, esteemed token activist. And I salute you.
But on a yodaesque sidenote, much better without you we could do.

Changing friends in changing times

2009-10-29T19:28:00.006+05:30

This is my first attempt at poetry. The subject is something that has disappointed me for years now...so much so that I've stopped subscribing to or buying newspapers. The two times that I did buy one in the last couple of months added to my feeling that a newspaper is no more what it used to be or what its supposed to be. So, here goes my comment on the state of the newspaper today.

I recall with nostalgia those jolly days from school.
When public speaking during the assembly was a rule.
Most of us would speak about places, dreams and the like.
But those were the last things I’d feed down the mike.

For I was the born activist, always eager to take a stand.
And what better source of news could be, than a newspaper in my hand.
It told me all about what went on in the world around me.
Maradona, the cold war, Pink Floyd & the PC.

My then best friend – the newspaper.

Years have passed since, and we’ve both evolved.
But my friend’s evolution has me appalled.
Its grown into a goliath, but one without a spine.
Sensationalism and commercialization are today’s newspaper’s lifeline.

Each newspaper is some bigwig’s minion.
They pass off opinion as news and propaganda as opinion.
Celebrity gossip & irrelevant perspectives are the order of the day.
The pits are the WAG pics of the Times & the bikini babes of Mid-day.

No more my friend – the newspaper.

On an optimistic note, that’s not the end of the world.
For from the curdles of despair is the cream of change churned.
And I’m proud to be a witness to this change taking place.
We’re on our way to glory with the internet at its base.

With independence as its centre of gravity, the net heralds a new dawn.
Where everyone can speak his mind like a king and not be anybody’s pawn.
Damn!! This thing has potential, but it might go the newspaper way.
Unless we act responsibly and handle it with care, as they say.

I implore upon you all to make the best use of my new friend.
Let’s make openness, inclusiveness and constant critical communication the new trend.
I hope to live to see the world as a better place.
And if we are to create a revolution, the internet is our ace.

My new friend – the internet.

Movie Review - Tropic Thunder

2009-10-23T19:29:00.005+05:30

Movie - Tropic Thunder
Director - Ben Stiller
Cast - Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr., Jack Black, Tom Cruise

Flashback to 2008 : There was this 2008 Bollywood release called Luck By Chance. It was probably one of the best directorial debuts I've seen in recent years. The movie was a stark exhibition of Bollywood & its internal dynamics. However, I had one small complaint with the presentation of the movie - although it tried to indulge in self-depreciating humour, it failed at that since the tone of the movie was so "in your face" dark.

Cut to early 2009 : Ben Stiller is to hollywood today what Govinda was to bollywood a decade ago...and some more. What I mean is that 10 years ago, I would have walked into a Govinda movie without any qualms since I knew that there would definitely be entertainment of the "leave your brain home" kind in the movie. Same goes for Stiller today.

I had first seen a poster of Tropic Thunder a few months ago - Robert Downey Jr. wielding a gun in an exaggerated pose. And my first thought was that its a war movie. But there was also this nagging feeling at the back of my head - Why on earth would Ben Stiller make a war movie? And what would he make of it? The feeling lingered for a while and then slowly died off, placing Tropic Thunder on a mental back burner while I moved base from Goa to Mumbai and jumped straight into the grind of dreary commutes and an uninspiring workplace.

Cut to present : Finally watched the movie yesterday. And trust me, I'm simply unable to control those occasional spurts of laughter even now. My colleague sharing my cabin must be wondering what I've smoked today. Tropic thunder was not a war movie...almost. And Stiller, true to reputation, didn't disappoint.

So, we have three movie stars with distinct on-screen & off-screen personalities. We have the multiple Oscar winning Aussie perfectionist Kirk Lazarus (Downey Jr.), the superhero typecast Tugg Speedman (Stiller) and the king of cheesy comedies Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black). Add to that a newcomer actor Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel) and a crazy rapper Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson) and we have the cast for the greatest ever war movie. So far so good. But then, Murphy's law strikes...and things spiral out of control. The rest of the film is a roller-coaster ride full of pee-inducing slapstick and some subtle, some not so subtle references to notable Hollywood personalities.

Now, the reason why I referred to Luck By Chance. The point where I feel LBC failed is where Tropic Thunder comes out tops. It makes similar scathing comments at the prevalent system in Hollywood but it does so with an extremely endearing comic panache. I'm sure Russell Crowe & Harvey Wienstien must've cringed at the way they were parodied by Downey Jr. & Tom Cruise respectively.

The performances in the movie are all standouts. Be it Stiller as the actor unable to break the shackles of his onscreen image; Downey Jr. with his arrogant swagger; Jack Black as the heroin addict going through withdrawal and above all, Tom Cruise in his cameo as the ruthless studio head. In fact, this has to be one of Cruise' best ever performances.

Another thing that really works for Tropic Thunder is that it can touch a chord with any kind of audience. For a layperson, it's one of the best comedies to have come out of Hollywood in recent years. For the movie buff, it's a treasure trove of references. For the discerning viewer, it's a tongue in cheek comment on how self-defeating the Hollywood system can become.

Too bad that I couldn't watch this on the big screen. Would've been awesome. However, I can always watch it on some projector somewhere whenever I get a chance. This is one movie I wouldn't mind watching any number of times.

Warning : This is not for the weak-hearted or the sensitive kinds. Can offend you to the point of suicide and/or murder.

It did change my heart

2009-02-17T22:18:00.000+05:30

June's first husband died in an accident, leaving her a few months pregnant. She turns to Kurt Nealon, a celebrated police officer who ends up becoming everything for her. She gives birth to her first daughter, Elizabeth (from her first marriage) and is later pregnant again with Kurt's child. They employ an introvert carpenter, Shay Bourne to undertake some repairs at their house. One day, when June returns home from the doctor, she finds Kurt and Elizabeth dead with Shay holding the murder weapon, Kurt's service arm. Shay is convicted to death for the gruesome double murder.

Michael is a student. And he's called on for jury duty for Shay's trial. The jury convicts him unanimously, with Michael being the last to vote guilty. Years later, Michael, now a priest, is called on as Shay's spiritual counsellor in prison.

Maggie is an agnostic radical born to a deeply devout rabbi and an overbearing mother. She's on an ACLU panel and ends up taking Shay's appeal against the death penalty in court.

Shay's arrival at a particular section of the prison heralds the advent of seemingly impossible miracles. And he gets a fan following who look up to him as a messiah.

Now back to June. June's second daughter, Claire, is diagnosed with a severe heart condition that won't allow her to live for more than a few months unless she gets a heart transplant. Shay sees this on the news and volunteers to donate his heart.

This is the basic plot skeleton of Jodi Picoult's new novel Change of Heart. And by the looks of it, one might deduce that it'll be a mundane courtroom drama, with a few dollops of emotion thrown in. But Picoult makes it into a magnum opus - a classic debate on the death penalty, religion and morality with her skillful spin on the characters and the situations. Sample this :

June's moral dilemma on whether she should accept the heart of the man who took practically everything away from her. Maggie wrestling with her agnostic beliefs and what she sees happening in the prison around Shay. Michael's dilemma on his role in bringing Shay where he is; his learnings from the seminary and Shay's miracles. Shay's chosen form of repentance that clashes with the legal stand on his execution. These are just some of the themes dealt with in the story. And then there's the reference to the gnostic gospels - something that were tangentially referenced in Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code. Here, the reference is much stronger, and unlike The DaVinci Code, they are just a subtext in the main plot.

What makes the book such a great read is that the author stays faithful to the main plot and doesn't let all the subtexts overpower it. And the fact that she doesn't take a stand on the religious aspects of the plot. The only strong stand that she does take in the book is a strong anti-death penalty one. And surprise of surprises, this book made me think strongly about the juxtaposition of my stand on the death penalty and my spiritual views. And by the time I finished this book, I was converted from a strong votary of the death penalty to an opponent of it. And that change didn't come entirely due to the content of the book. Rather, it was a chain of thought that the book initiated, which resulted in that change.

The best part of the book is the discussion subjects at the end. 4 pages full of topics and issues from the book that can be discussed and debated. And though its a really long read, I would recommend this book with a 5 star rating for its mighty thoughprovoking content.

Pirates of the subcontinent

2009-02-10T02:06:00.004+05:30

I know that this piece might seem oversimplified to some industry insiders. But I'm putting it across the way I best percieve it. I also know that I would be admitting to have committed a crime in this article but I fully understand my actions. And maybe this article was the catharsis I needed to get the crime out of my system. I also concede that this article isn't backed with figures. That's more due to the fact that the topic under question is something that'll leave all figures redundant. Some people might also find this to be some kind of a conspiracy theory - which it very well might be. Accepted. But there is a faint veneer of reason behind whatever I've surmised. And even though it might all be alleged, its definitely not unfounded. Okay...announcements done, let me get to the point by first admitting to the crime I've mentioned here. I'm guilty of piracy. The motivations to delve into it were many. Now, I won't get into things like a defense or justification but I'll take this as a base for a presumption that there would be many more people who take to piracy for the very same reasons. And maybe other reasons as well - valid or invalid is besides the point. What I'm planning to say here is my perception of why the crime is being committed, my understanding of what the industry is doing to prevent it and maybe some inputs from my side as to what else could be done to curb the menace.

To determine where we stand on this issue, we need to analyse the growth chart of the phenomenon. During my childhood, VHS was a rage. We used to wait for holidays so that we could rent out a VCR/VCP and gorge on movies till we passed out from tiredness. And we used to get two kinds of cassettes those days. One was the legal one, bearing the mark of Shemaroo, Eagle, Bombino etc. The others were copies of the latest releases which had quite a few scenes cut, sometimes important ones too. The first pirated movie I saw was Mr.India. I wanted to watch the movie badly and my parents wouldn't allow me within a mile of the theatre playing it - as it was known to be a sleazehouse till a few weeks ago. So it was down to the video rental who had a copy of Mr.India in the second month of the release of the movie. Not that I knew the difference between a legal and a pirated copy then - and I doubt if even the guy renting them out knew. We used to distinguish them by the quality of the print - Achche print waali cassette (read original) and Kharab print waali cassette (read pirated). The quality differential continued for a good decade and a half after that and the only thing that changed till the early 2000's was the time in which one could lay his hands on a pirated copy of a movie.

The year was 2003 when I bought my first DVD player. I used to stay in Hyderabad then. And I had access to two rental stores that were diametrically different ala chalk and cheese. One was located in the upmarket Rd. # 12 Banjara Hills and the other one closer to home in a lower middle class section of Banjara Hills. The shop on Rd. # 12 stocked a huge collection - English, Hindi & Telugu, which included 90% legal prints and 10% pirated. The smaller shop had a much more modest collection. He owned 3 english movies (Top Gun, Terminator 2 and Hyderabad Blues). Well...HB wasn't entirely an english movie but I grouped it along with the 2 T's just for the sake of it. These 3 movies were legal prints. He had a smattering of old hindi movies (legal prints again). He would have a copy of the latest hindi release by the 3rd day of its release though. And then he had hundreds of telugu movies that again were mostly legal. The large shop was once raided by the cops right after Chiranjeevi's Tagore released and with that, off went all the pirated discs from his shop. And the owner of that shop has never stored any pirated titles in his collection ever since. Not even for his safe "regular customers". The smaller shop though, remained untouched by the cops throughout the 4 years I stayed in Banjara Hills.

In those days, the pirated prints of hindi movies we would get were thrown out into the market by Sadaf, a Pakistani company. They were easily recognisable by the tacky reproduction of the film's artwork on the CD cover and their striking logo. A movie on a pirated CD would cost Rs.50 in those days. And the quality of the movie matched that of the artwork reproduction. They were very clearly camera prints and the both the video and audio quality would be lamentable. Today, things have changed quite a bit. The current wave of multi-movie DVD's started around 2-3 years ago. But they were expensive then. a 5 movie set would cost a hundred rupees then. Today, the cost for the same has come down to a paltry Rs.40. And, the quality of the prints seems to have improved by leaps and bounds. Except for that rare pixellation, which might be the result of so much being crammed into one disc, the DVD's of today offer one a decent quality for watching on a 29" TV. Funny part is, most of these DVD's carry anti-piracy warnings from guess who....the FBI! :) Today, one can also watch movies online. No...I'm not talking about documentaries. I'm talking about the latest movie that is available on youtube within 3-4 days of its release.

In my opinion, this shift in pricing and quality is not entirely an economic change. Till a few years ago, piracy had a purely economical motive behind it. People were involved in the business due to the common viewer's disillusionment with cinema halls. They knew that they had a market that was ready to lap up even substandard fare purely because they got the comfort of watching it at home at a cheap price with it. Economically, if one pirated one movie, he stood to gain an operating profit of around 30-40%. The next level (the top level distributor) would append another 20% and by the time it came to the store, an end user would pay a price around 150-200% more than the cost of manufacture - leaving everyone in the food chain with a good profit. Today, we are talking about the same profit margins per disc but that's spread out over 5 movies that are being pirated in one disc. So theoretically, the entities involved from the time a copy of the movie is obtained for the purpose of piracy till the retailer selling the discs would make close to 1/4 of what they'd have made with the earlier revenue model. Now, when money is not the motivation behind such exercises, what could be?

If we trace the history of video piracy in India, one thing stands out as obvious. The 3 main centres from where the pirated movies are circulated are Pakistan, the gulf & Malaysia. And here comes the conspiracy theory bit. I don't believe I'd be way off the mark if I could relate these nerve centres to the globally growing Islamic movement. A major item on the agenda of islamic extremism in the places mentioned, especially Pakistan & the gulf is the economic destabilisation of India. And one person buying a DVD worth Rs.40 means a loss of Rs.500 (on a conservative average) to the industry. And what better way to destabilise an industry than by offering a slightly watered down version of the goods at more than a 90% discount? Going by the plethora of sales points for such media, I shudder at the number of people who might be buying those Rs.40 DVD's. In Panjim, where I currently stay, I've personally seen atleast 20 such shops/stalls. There were 7 such stalls on the stretch ranging from Chembur Station till the vegetable market under the flyover when I checked the same last year. Walk out of any suburban railway station in Mumbai and you'll see at least 2 stalls, with stations like Andheri having at least 20. You have the stats for a small town and a big city. And I won't be wrong if one such shop/stall sells at least 10 DVD's of the latest movie everyday on an average. Do the rest of the maths yourself.

What are we doing, as a state, to combat the spectre of piracy? Agreed - we have established strong laws. But is that going to be enough? The mere presence of laws is never a deterrent. Their tough execution though, is. But tough execution of laws in India is saved only for the barbaric TADA & its likes. Piracy laws? Aah!! who cares? In the third paragraph of this article, I mentioned the divide between the kind of video rental stores we have in India. The reason I mentioned it in such detail was to highlight how selectively the law is being exercised. A big shop on the main road, gets raided with the newspapers carrying the news the very next day. The hundreds of smaller shops across town however, function the same way today as they functioned 5 years earlier. Because the police doesn't have enough manpower to go after them. Even the first shop owner might have paid a fine, a bribe or both and he simply got away. Good that he stopped stocking pirated movies but I also know of many more rental shops that stand unfazed by any number of raids that might've been conducted on them. Also glaring is the number of stalls selling pirated movies out there in the open. I wonder why they are completely ignored by the law enforcement agencies. Leaving the law enforcement agencies aside, it's surprising why there aren't any proactive steps from the industry itself. All I see from that avenue is media campaigns against piracy, which according to me is the bare minimum and not all.

Which brings us to our most important question. What else can be done in addition to what's already being done in order to fight piracy? What steps can the industry take to the effect? What can you, me and all of us do to improve the situation? Let's first talk from a regulatory standpoint. We surely need to have a dedicated anti-piracy team which should ideally be formed under the I & B ministry. This shouldn't be a task force of bureaucrats, but a crack team of slueths. Their sole mandate should be nipping the piracy bug in its bud (well...whatever state it is in now if not the bud). They should also be given enough powers and less bureaucratic hassles to deal with. Maharashtra has taken a good first step by clubbing its gunda act with the anti-piracy act. This will ensure that people found guilty will be facing something much more severe than merely a fine. Of course, this would have effective enforcement of the law as a prerequisite. That itself could be a good starting point for the government. As for you, me and all of us commoners, all we can do is to try and spread the message among our social circle (friends, relatives & the lot).

The industry is what needs to tighten up its socks bigtime. It's easy to play a blaming game by pointing the finger at the authorities' inability to curb piracy. But in spite of that, the bottomline remains that the blame is not going to set the record straight. Piracy will continue and the pirate will simply laugh away to glory at the blame game. For one, the industry can try making copy proof discs. Agreed, some hack out there will know how to get around it. But a majority of the junta around would be rendered helpless. It's obvious from the improvement in the quality of pirated movies over the years that there has to be some insider involvement. So the industry will do a whole lot of good to itself if they were to indulge in some vetting exercises for all those who have access to the different versions of the movies. It would also be very helpful to them if they were to divert some of the funds being used in anti-piracy campaigns to rewards for people provinding tips and leads. Come to think of it. If there are tangible or intangible reasons for me not being able to watch a movie on the big screen, and a solution is commonly available for as cheap as Rs.40, why would I listen to an SRK or an Aamir when they ask me not to promote piracy? Yeah...but I might be quite tempted to divulge a source of pirated DVD's if I get a reward of Rs.50,000.

I've been ranting quite a bit. Guess I'll end here. But I'll end with a promise. However strong a reason I might have for not being able to watch a movie on the big screen, I will not buy another pirated DVD. I'd rather wait for the official DVD release. And I sincerely request all of you to do the same. Hopefully, if we can fight this menace effectively, we might see cheap legal DVD's soon. Moser Baer has already done it. And over the last year or so, they've released quite a few movies in inexpensive titles within a few months of their release. I just hope Moser Baer does for movies what T-Series did for music.

(Originally published here)

Ghajini - A Review

2009-01-06T23:59:00.000+05:30

Well...against all my better sense, I blasphemed day before and I swear I'll never do anything similar again. Had a few hours to kill before shift and I ventured into Ghajini. And I came out with mixed feelings - surprisingly, anger wasn't one of them. I do remember laughing at the pretentious pretender that Aamir Khan is though.

I mentioned to someone the other day, "Making a Memento with a similar touch of class is beyong Aamir & Murgadoss". I guess Aamir was being quite honest when he said that this movie isn't a remake or a ripoff of Memento. What they've done is picked up the basic premise (Antiretrogade Amnesia or whatever) and the look and feel (Aamir's tattooes, the polaroid, the notes etc.) from Memento and made a bollywood masala flick on the same. Good that I wouldn't have to insult one of my alltime favourites continually by referring to this ordinary movie as a remake or a ripoff of it.

So what do we have here? We have a lovely case study on the marketing of a movie that's worth its place in B-school syllabi around the world. The name of the game is positioning. And Aamir has shown that he's an ace at that. Right from the time the movie was concieved, Aamir has been promoting it covertly and overtly. We had those Samsung ads where he appeared with the Ghajini hairdo. And then an appearance on a TV show where he gleefully proclaimed that this hairdo belongs to his character from his forthcoming film which is going to be a hardcore action flick. This was followed by his blogs where he made obtuse references to Memento and then "clarified". But tongues had already started wagging about Ghajini's Memento connection and curiousity levels were piqued up. Next comes the in your face poster. And all the TV interviews about how we went about developing his eight-pack and so on. Bottomline - here's the formula for success in bollywood and apna Aamir has perfected it - Sustained but clever marketing, curiousity factor and star power.

What about the movie itself then? Well...it was a 3 hour marathon. Half of it was devoted to the romance angle between Aamir's Sanjay Singhania and Asin's Kalpana. The rest was spent on Sanjay's revenge. The romance part of the movie would've really worked had it been a movie on its own. The chemistry between the lead pair was good and the pace was maintained. And Asin surely has a lovely expressive face and a great screen presence. The revenge saga was a different story altogether. It left a lot to be desired. First of all, the condition of Sanjay wasn't put across properly. And there were several contradictions to the condition in the plot. Secondly, the character development skills displayed by the director so adeptly in the romance half of the movie were completely missing in this part. Thirdly, there is absolutely no connection between the romance part of the movie and the revenge part. They look like two different movies patched up in the form of intermittent flashbacks.

Now, I don't say that nothing in the movie worked. But every positive of the movie was blunted by some glaring negative. Rahman's music was on the mark again...but was handicapped by some childish lyrics from Prasoon Joshi. Aas-Paas-Chaas-Ghaas Guzareeeeeeesh!!! Gimme a break Prasoon...and go back to the ad world. The cinematography by Ravi K. Chandran was superlative. The action was in true-blue tamil fashion. Old school and awesome. But that was all dumbed down by the editing and the screenplay. Why on earth did this have to be presented as a flashback collage? Whatever happened to the good old linear mode of storytelling? Or were they trying to find inspiration in the narrative style of Memento as well?

Performancewise, the movie belonged to Asin. She was gorgeous and spontaneous. Aamir was pretty Dil Chahta Hai-esque in the part where he romances Asin and huffy-puffy-grumpy in the tattooed getup. No great shakes from him. Jiah Khan was irritating at her best and repulsive most of the time. Her scooty did far better though. Which brings us to the most important character in the movie - Ghajini. Pradeep Rawat of all the people? Did they fall short on budgets that they couldn't get someone better to play the role? Atleast when the movie was named after the villian. This guy was a parody.

Was the movie watchable? For me, no. For the millions of bollywood buffs out there, I'm sure yes. They'll throng to the theatres like never before and make this movie a huge hit...whether I like it or not. As for recommendations on whether to watch this or not, this is a really tricky one. So take your chances, and don't blame me if you feel slighted spending those 200 rupees in the multiplex.

My IFFI Indian programming wishlist

2008-11-14T23:58:00.005+05:30

Nov 23rd : Do Bigha Zameen

Nov 24th, 25th & 26th : Nothing interesting in the Indian section except for Gulabi Talkies which clashes with work hours. Will check out the international fare.

Nov 27th : It's a holiday. Will watch atleast two movies. Thinking of Kancheevaram and Little Zizou back to back but might drop Kancheevaram in case there's something more interesting from the international fare. Kancheevaram has a repeat screening later...will watch it then in case I drop it on the 27th.

Nov 28th : Might be a holiday too...not sure though. Will catch the talk on Globalisation in Indian Cinema and pick up something from the international menu.

Nov 29th : Weekend!!!! Saturday's line-up is quite tempting. Will have to opt for either Bandini & Valu back to back or the repeat screening of Gulabi talkies. Haven't decided yet.

Nov 30th : Sunday = Fun day. Might catch the early morning repeat screening of Kancheevaram if not seen earlier. The rest of the day is open for the international fare.

Dec 1st : My birthday. :) And Chetan Anand's Neecha Nagar is the perfect birthday gift. Might be around half an hour late to work...but birthday hai to chalega.

Dec 2nd : Repeat screenings of Jodha Akbar & Valu. Wifey's been pertering me to watch JA with her for quite some time. Might give in...or else...will catch Valu. In which case, I'll drop out on Bandini earlier and watch Gulabi talkies instead on the 29th.

Looking forward to the screening schedule of international films. The screening schedule for the Indian programming is available on http://iffi.nic.in/scheduleip08.pdf

Portrait of a director - Manmohan Desai

2008-11-14T01:33:00.007+05:30

Some time ago, I was discussing cricket with some friends and the talks veered off into what has probably been the most debated cricketing topic in recent times - Saurav Ganguly. Saurav was the original firebrand - the rebel who was known for his unconventional stances that went on to become cricketing folklore. Talk about removing his shirt in the balcony at Lords, keeping rival captains waiting for the toss and many other instances of gamesmanship, Saurav has etched his name as the enfante terrible of cricket. And then, he also went on to become the most successful test captain in Indian cricket history. The devil’s workshop that my mind usually is, it started thinking about a cinema parallel to Saurav Ganguly. And who better to don the garb than apna Manji (as he was fondly addressed). Manmohan Desai was the original firebrand of Indian cinema. He shook the foundations of what was regarded as right/wrong or good/bad in hindi filmdom and went on to create a legacy of his own that is so far untouched and doesn’t look like anyone would be able to touch it either. As a sidenote to doubters, Manji has also notched up a phenomenal success ratio of 65% with 13 of his 20 films going on to become major hits.

My first brush with MMD was from his inferior lot. Rachna was the name of the new theatre in Faridabad (a small town near Delhi where I spent a major part of my childhood). Megaphone equipped rickshaws used to roam the streets of Faridabad announcing the largest balcony in Asia (Don’t know how much of that was true…and never cared how much of that was relevant) but Rachna was one imposing piece of concrete. 900+ seats in the balcony was intimidating for sure but those were the days when cable had still not made an entry into the indian market and VCR’s/VCP’s were considered luxuries (they were available on rent but had to be booked at least a couple of days in advance for weekends and at least a week in advance during vacations). So theatres were the only option for impromptu movie programmes and the crowds were still there. Anyways, back to the topic on hand. Rachna had opened with the Big B starrer Mard. And we (mom, dad, my sister and myself) were there on the first weekend. And I completely fell in love with Raju Tangewala as well as his sidekicks. Did someone say that Raju didn’t have any sidekicks in Mard? Watch it again. Badal and Moti would give an inferiority complex to Phantom’s Hero and Devil anyday. So that was my baptism by the Manji fire. Next in line were Naseeb and the biggie AAA on a rented VCR. And I was converted to a hardcore member of the MMD fan club.

Thanks to cable, satellite television and VHS/VCD/DVD, I have watched MMD’s entire filmography and it amazes me no end as to how this man managed to come up with so many hits in spite of most of his films bearing the same basic formula. All said and done, he has regaled generations with his potboilers and will always be remembered as one of the greats in the business. This tribute of mine for one of my favourite directors focusses on the unique legacy that he left us as well as some highlights from his filmography. So, here goes…

Manji gave the lost and found formula to Bollywood. The formula was a base for almost half the films he made. The twists of fate that would lead to the breaking of families were surpassed in their outrageousness only by the twists that would get them back together. The trend started with his first movie, Chhalia; was absent for a few years and then resurfaced in Rampur Ka Lakshman. It went on till Mard, his penultimate movie as a director and piled on the moolah for the producers and pleasure for the viewers. There is no doubt that he is the master of the lost and found tale. A classic variation of the standard lost and found fare was used by him in Parvarish - the first movie where he worked with Amitabh. Instead of the normal family breaks up in the beginning to meet again during the climax - Parvarish had the son of a dacoit growing up in a police chief’s house. Diametrically opposite to Raj Kapoor’s Awaara. But while Awaara emphasised quite a bit on the emotional side of the angle, Parvarish was pure masala, meant only for sinful indulgence. Chacha Bhatija, another MMD movie that I’ve watched multiple times had a different take on the lost and found formula. Here, the protagonist (Dharmendra) leaves his house due to an altercation with his sister-in-law, only to form a tag team with his nephew (Randhir Kapoor) later on.

Manji also gave us Nirupa Roy. Although she had started donning the Maa garb long before she started working for the MMD camp, she used to be in a completely different element while acting as Maa in one of MMD’s movies. Her journey with MMD started with Roti, and she went on to become more popular as Amitabh’s mother than even the late Teji Bachchan herself. All credit for that to Manmohan Desai.

Secularist iconography was a hallmark of Manji’s movies. Who can forget the backdrop of a temple, mosque and church outside the hospital room where Vinod Khanna, Amitabh and Rishi Kapoor donate blood in sync to Nirupa Roy in AAA? Or the John Jaani Janardhan of Naseeb? If there was a director who wore his secular credentials on his sleeve, it was MMD. And he did it in characteristic style. His movies showed the religious minorities as the younger brothers (the pampered ones) to an all-encompassing maryada purushottam elder brother (invariably hindu); thus outlining the demographic breakup of India in light of the 3 major religions followed in the country.

One of the greatest facets of Manji’s legacies was Amitabh Bachchan. I’ve always felt that Bachchan gave his best when working for either of four directors - Hrishida, Yash Chopra, Prakash Mehra and Manmohan Desai. While he was the guy next door in Hrishida’s movies, Prakash Mehra gave him his career defining Angry Young Man tag. In Yash Chopra’s movies though, Amitabh’s characters were never bigger than the subject or the plot. But it was MMD who gave Amit some of his most larger than life characters as well as his most endearing ones. Anthony in AAA, Raju Tangewala in Mard, Iqbal coolie in Coolie and Amit in Suhaag are prime examples of the earthy texture that MMD gave to Amitabh’s persona. And not just Amitabh. Manmohan Desai directed some of hindi moviedom’s best loved stars right from Raj Kapoor and Shammi Kapoor to Rajesh Khanna to Dharmendra and these combinations resulted in some of the biggest hits in hindi cinema like Roti with Rajesh Khanna and Dharamveer with Dharmendra.

To appreciate his career as a filmmaker, I’ve outlined a few of his milestone films. This is not my pick among his best films. Rather, it shows his progression as a filmmaker.

Chhalia (1960) - Manji’s brother, Subhash Desai was a mid-rung producer in Mumbai. He got Manji his first break as a director with an ageing Raj Kapoor in the lead role. This movie can be called the rightful precursor to the stock formula of his later movies - lost and found. Although pathbreaking in many ways, it is just remembered as Manmohan Desai’s debut venture today. It explored the issue of women separated from their families during partition and how, after being united with their families, they were shunned by their own people. It also bore a strong secular hallmark which is best exemplified by the title song - Chhalia mera naam, Chhalna mera kaam. Hindu muslim sikh isaai, sabko mera salaam.

Kismat (1968) - This was one of the biggest hits of those times. Though not a lost and found tale, it did carry quite a few elements that were a necessary ingredient of the formula later. Paramount among them was the intervention of fate (as the title suggests). The movie is best remembered for the evergreen Kajra Mohabbatwala number.

Rampur Ka Laxman (1972) - This was the first movie based completely on the lost and found theme. It also heralded the arrival of Rekha on the big stage (RKL was Rekha’s first hit). Starring Randhir Kapoor, Rekha and Shatrughan Sinha, it was a thoroughly entertaining masala offering.Parvarish (1977) - 1977 was a watershed year for MMD. He had 4 releases that year, all big hits and 2 of them with Amitabh. Parvarish was the least successful of the 4, but was one of MMD’s most intense movies. Except for Parvarish, all his other movies had a light and easy feel to them. But this one, a lost and found movie with a twist, was chock-a-block with intense emotions. And the feel was ably carried off by rivetting performances from Amitabh, Shammi Kapoor and Vinod Khanna.

Amar Akbar Anthony (1977) - The biggest of them all. This was the movie that catapulted MMD to eternity. Its IMO, hindi filmdom’s most loved movie ever. I don’t know of a single person who didn’t enjoy this mad caper. Lost and found at its peak, twists in the tale more crooked than Hurricane Katrina, larger than life characters in Akbar, Anthony, Kishenlal and the uniquitous Maarupa Roy, rocking action, over the top emotions, comedy ranging from the not-so-subtle to completely over the top, a starcast reading like the who’s who of bollywood, a magnum opus plot transcending two generations, miracles, gold smugglers, zany costume shows and perenially hummable songs (Humko tumse Ho Gaya Hai Pyaar and Parda Hai are personal favourites) - you name it, this movie had it.

Naseeb (1981) - Possibly Manji’s most ambitious project ever. It had everything that Amar Akbar Anthony did, and in patiala doses. It even referenced AAA quite a few times, most notably in the song Rang Jamaake. However, this one didn’t really send the cash registers ringing and maybe that lead to quite a large disappointment for him. For his movies that followed, lacked somewhere in terms of vigour when compared to his films prior to Naseeb. And although Coolie (1983) and Mard (1985) were huge hits, they came nowhere close to an amar Akbar Anthony or a Rampur Ka Lakshman or even a Suhaag with respect to their entertainment quotient.

Sadly, he ended his life in dubious circumstances and not much was made public about it. But Manmohan Desai was, is and will remain one of the most loved name among hindi film audiences. May his soul rest in peace.

Originally published here

Rock On - Review

2008-09-04T03:48:00.005+05:30

Movie - Rock On
Cast - Farhan Akhtar, Arjun Rampal, Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny, Prachi Desai
Directed By - Abhishek Kapoor

I recieved an sms from a friend - an avowed hindi film hater - saying that Rock On is a good movie and I should not miss watching it in the theatre. The promos had been quite encouraging and it looked like Bollywood had something different coming in after a long time. Another friend told me that it was somewhat a cross between Dil Chahta Hai and Jhankar Beats - two movies that I've loved immensely. So I sacrificed a happy day's sleep and went for it today, pulling along two other colleagues of mine. Did I like the movie? Hard to say. Did I hate it? Not in a long shot. Overall, my feeling was that it was well worth the time but definitely not worth paying a hefty two hundred bucks at Inox.

The plot :
Can't resist being cheesily Joharish here....Its all about loving your bandmates. As my friend aptly put it, its somewhat a cross between DCH & JB. So, we have this rock band called Magik consisting of the egoistic and self-centred crooner Adi (Farhan Akhtar); an immensely talented lead guitarist Joe (Arjun Rampal); Kedar aka KD (Killer Drummer), played by Purab Kohli, a misfit in a family of diamond merchants but completely in charge with drums in front and sticks in hand; and the soul of the band Rob (Luke Kenny), the keyboardist. The movie is about the band members going their own ways (sulking and unhappy about it ofcourse, but never game to admit the truth) and Adi's wife Sakshi's (Prachi Desai) efforts to bring them back together. That's the plot of the movie.

What worked for me:
Though credits for the direction have gone to Abhishek Kapoor (who previously directed the Rocky wannabe called Aryan with Sohail Khan), every frame in the film shouts Farhan Akhtar. So, the first thing that works is the understated gloss so typical of DCH and so unlike YRF or Dharma Productions' ventures. The next thing that works is the performances. The four band members have gotten under their character's skin with terrific results. Even the supporting cast of the wives and girlfriends have done their bit well. Arjun Rampal is probably the most improved actor in Bollywood today - a far cry from the stone sculpture in Deewanapan to the vile Mikey in Om Shanti Om to the brooding Joe in Rock On. Farhan Akhtar is a revelation though his singing didn't impress me much. Purab Kohli repeats his My Brother Nikhil act in terms of spontaneity and screen presence. Luke Kenny, the one I was most apprehensive about in the acting arena surprised me by being so natural in the role of Rob. And yes, this is one of the bravest themes (braver than Chak De I'd say) that I've seen a director handling in Bollywood. And he sticks to the theme without veering away from it.

What could've worked better for me:
The director (whether it was AK or FA) should've worked on bringing forth some of the finer points of the plot. For example, the film dwells more on the reunion but the break-up is not very convincing enough. This leaves a lot of questions, unanswered ofcourse, in the viewer's mind. The music was a notch or two below what I would call first rate. Except for Pichle Saat Dino Mein, the other tracks didn't make much of an impression. When its a film on a Rock Band, the focus should've been clearly on Rock based strains, but S-E-L erred a bit by trying to experiment with other styles in a Rock based backdrop.

What just didn't work for me:
This is the first time Bollywood has experimented with a pure rock based theme in a movie. And this was a wonderful opportunity for the team to educate the masses a little bit about rock music. The movie comes across as severely pretentious while attempting to do so. I'd say that it looked more like an attempt at showing off rather than one at educating people on the nuances of rock. For example, you have umpteen dialogues like "I'll join you from the fourth bar." etc. Shows that you've worked hard on researching the subject of your theme. But to what purpose? More than 3/4's of the audience will not get a head or tail of whats being said. Something else that didn't work for me was the complete lack of humour in the movie. Though there are a couple of scenes where Purab Kohli's character tries to do a Saif like in DCH, but those attempts at humour don't look convincing at all. Not for any fault of the actor; just that the scene and the lines didn't quite fit in. And finally, it was a shame that with such a strong potential for a gripping plotline, the final product was a bit tepid. The fault here lies with the poor character development - something which if done well could have changed this from a GOOD movie to a GREAT one.

Overall Verdict:
This truly is one movie that is not to be missed. However, I would still suggest people to wait a couple of weeks for the ticket prices to drop. Its a movie that I would classify as an very good one time watch though it missed that immortal shelf life tag due to reasons mentioned above.

Rating : 3.5/5

Revolver - A revenge movie with a difference

2008-08-30T02:56:00.005+05:30

Movie : Revolver
Directed By : Guy Ritchie
Cast : Jason Statham, Ray Liotta

Think Guy Ritchie and the first thing that would come to one's mind would be either Snatch or Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. But this is one hell of a myth breaking movie. It shatters the myth that Guy Ritchie can do only slick madcap laughter-coasters. It lays to rest the myth that Jason Statham can't manage anything beyond unimagineable fights. It debunked my perception that Christopher Nolan is the ace of complex plots. And it pooh-poohed the myth that pirated DVD shops in Panjim do not stock good english movies. Here's to one of the God-f'n-awesomest movies I've seen in years.

The concept is pretty simple and beaten down to death all over. It's about a man spending seven years in a prison (Statham's Jake Green) and getting released with the sole intention of exacting revenge on the one responsible for him being imprisoned (Liotta's Dorothy Macha). Sounds boring? Cliched? Saw something similar just yesterday and the day before and last week and four times in the last month? Wait till you get to the end of the review.The concept might be oft-repeated but the treatment is unique and difficult to match. Ritchie has established himself as adept at handling non-linear plots with his cult Snatch and Lock, Stock... but here, he takes it all a step further. What starts off as a run-of-the-mill revenge tale gradually morphs into a philosophical commentary without compromising on the edge of the seat tension.

The performances are first rate. As mentioned earlier, Statham gets a lot of scope to show of his histrionic prowess and he does it in the same style as he showed off his action prowess in the Transporter movies. Liotta is at his most intense since I saw him in Goodfellas. The supporting cast of Vincent Pastore and Andre Benjamin also turn up good performances. But the winner all the way is Ritchie's direction backed by a bomb if a screenplay by Ritchie himself along with Luc Besson.

However, there is a downside. This is not a movie that everyone would enjoy. Its extremely intelligent & complex and requires a lot of concentration while watching. This is also not a movie to watch on a saturday evening with a host of friends for company. Ideally, its something meant for a saturday night or sunday afternoon on a high; in silence; but to be followed by loads of conversation - trust me, this movie will inspire quite a bit of it. So make sure that your company is also equally high and silent during the movie.

Rating : 4.5/5

The Curious case of Sanjaya Malakar

2007-04-08T15:34:00.002+05:30

Not too long ago, a certain Indian actress won a reality show on British tv. And many, including me, would like to believe that she won due to the sympathy vote being firmly in her grasp. Now, I'm not taking away anything from her success. She played to her strengths and manipulated the competition as well as the audience to her victory - just what is required to be done in such reality shows. And needless to say, I cheered for her. And not because she's Indian. The fact that she was an Indian did make a difference though - had it not been for that, why would someone like me, sitting in a far off land, be hearing about a run of the mill reality show in the UK? Note that the Indian version of the same show overlapped its counterpart in the UK, but I barely noticed what was going on there. But how could I avoid the daily reports in the newspaper or the systematic analysis of her campaign on news channels on Indian tv? I read the newspaper and watch news on tv too. Anyways, that's besides the point. It just struck my thoughts because of the parallels it draws with another similar case doing the media rounds these days - The case of Sanjaya Malakar.

Sanjaya is another person of Indian origin participating in another reality show on tv far away from India. The Indian media is vociferously following his campaign too. But the parallels dry down there. Neither is Sanjaya a celebrity nor is he doing just what is expected of him on the show. Then why the big hullaboo over him? Is it still a hangover from Celebrity Big Brother in the UK that the media has taken upon itself the responsibility of following all people of Indian origin participating in reality shows? Even if they come out with an excuse of highlighting how mediocrity can shine, I don't see why there has to be a weekly update of how Sanjaya is succeeding on American Idol. A piece highlighting their thoughts at the end of his campaign would have been more than apt for that reason.

I'm sure that if the media wants to look for heroes, they'll find thousands of cases more deserving than Sanjaya. For example, you have children who are presented with bravery awards on Republic Day every year. I don't remember having seen more than a passing mention of them in newspapers. And tv news channels are a different breed altogether. Even the passing mention is too much for them. And I'm sure there are many other myriad stories of heroism they'll find in India and related to Indian diaspora. I also don't have any doubts about the mediaworthiness of such stories. Pains me that the media doesn't show enough effort in unearthing these stories.

Not very long ago, we were being fed a daily diet of Sunita Williams. Apart from having an Indian parent, what's Indian about her? Still, she was depicted as an example of Indian success abroad. Why? Why do we still hanker after the likes of V.S.Naipaul and Nirad Chaudhuri (may his soul rest in peace), trying to establish their Indianness after they have quite overtly disowned India? An Oscar has become the de-facto standard for achievement in movies. Every year, we bemoan the failure of India's "Official" entry to the oscars. Nobody bothers about awards won by other Indian movies at numerous film festivals of repute.

Somehow, a combination of these two factors makes me think of the Indian media as an adolescent in the midst of an identity crisis. They clamour for attention from the west. They want to be like the media of the west. But they forget the relativity factor here. In trying to follow the american media system, they're nothing more than aping it. Would American news channels bother about an underperforming American in some Indian show? I'm sure they won't. They definitely would pick on someone like Sanjaya...because he's a participant in an American show and not because he's an Indian. Somehow, this objectivity is missing from the Indian media. Another cause for this behaviour is the lack of pride in both our glorious past as well as the good side of our present. The Times of India starts a campaign called India Poised. They're trying to highlight the good side of our present day state. Not even 6 months into it, they dump it like a hot potato. Possible reason being that it might have ended up as a branding failure. When the media tries to weigh its national pride against monetary benefits, one can safely assume that it stands in a very poor light in terms of morality.

Yin & Yang! The cricket way.

2007-04-04T10:22:00.002+05:30

Wow! Can it get any hotter than that? Its been quite a while since cricket has been hogging top headlines. But yesterday was the motherlode. Two huge developments - one quite promising, the other somewhat disturbing - hit Indian cricket yesterday. And these were not the run of the mill media shockers that sizzle, fizzle and die ten deaths in the matter of a few hours on Indian TV. These were developments that will have a long term effect on Indian cricket, and I sincerely hope, it'll be a good one. My take on both the happenings...

Let's bring on the good news first. Zee's Subhash Chandra, in a Packeresque move, announced the ICL (Indian Cricket League) amongst heavy fanfare. Starting with 6 teams sometime later this year and targetting another 10 in the next three years, ICL will be played in two formats (One dayers and 20-20). Chandra announced that the contracted players will be getting a monthly remuneration as well as performance based incentives. The teams would comprise of 2 India internationals, 4 overseas players & 8 juniors. The league would be aimed at building a competitive spirit and killer instinct among Indian cricketers. The league is to be governed by some well respected names in international cricket, a move that'll definitely add credibility to the final product. Going by the success of PHL on ESPN-Star, it can be safely assumed that ICL will push Zee Sports into the turf of major sports channels on Indian TV. So far so good. But two questions loom large in my mind.

First is the BCCI. How would they react to this? So far, there's been no comment, official or otherwise, from them except that they've recieved a communication from Chandra regarding the issue and they'll respond to it. I wonder whether they'll try throwing some spanner in Chandra's works by not releasing their contracted players for the league even when not on national team duty. This could take the initial sheen out of the product and could kill the marketing momentum. This is not a vague and random thought. Usually the official line in such development would always be guarded - the sit back...watch the waters kind. In Packer's case, Cricket Australia went to the extent of a confrontation with WSC, though I expect the BCCI to be wiser. Second is the composition of the teams. With the kind of money Chandra is throwing up, I don't see any reason why they shouldn't be able to get some top grade overseas talent. The India players issue would be in BCCI's hands and if they decide not to relent, ICL would have to settle for some also-ran ex-India players - neither a very healthy sign in terms of the quality of the product nor in terms of viewership. The 8 junior players would be the most crucial, as this is going to form the bulwark of the league and grooming them into international grade cricketers is one of the league's visions. We still don't have any clarity as to the selection criterea for this pool. Answers to these questions would make the future direction of ICL much clearer.

Now comes the tough part. The bad news. Senior players from the side are up in arms against coach Greg Chappell. Sachin Tendulkar, probably the most graceful and humble of the current lot came out in the open with a scathing statement on the the coach's tactics. Along with him, other senior players too, have openly criticised the coach for being a divisive force within the team. Good that the players have come out openly against the coach in full defiance of the BCCI gag. Now we have both sides of the story. Its now upto the fans to choose who they want to believe - the players who till not very recently were being looked up as heroes for having achieved things not many had done in the past or a coach whose reputation as a tenacious terrier with no aversion to hitting below the belt to gain an upper hand goes hand in hand with his much tomtommed reputation of a batting great. Those who feel Team India bashing to be the in-thing will accuse me of a bias here. Maybe many ex-aussie cricketers including Steve Waugh were biased when they warned Ganguly not to support Greg's candidature for coach. Maybe australian cricket in general was biased too not to have given Greg a decent coaching run in their own country. I'd always been against appointing him as the coach and still hold strong on the same view.

However, every cloud, as they say, has a silver lining. Some heads are bound to roll in the aftermath of the WC debacle. This could be a good chance for Zee to rope in some really nice talent who can be the torchbearers for the ICL atleast for the first 2-3 years. Talking of heads rolling, the BCCI is all set to appoint a committee of ex-players to look into the current and the future of Indian cricket. Something they should keep in mind, but I know they won't, is to avoid any cricketer with any kind of media involvement in the recent past. This might bring in vested interests of the individual or the organisation he represents. Well...they say that I keep dreaming. Why not? As an eternal optimist, don't I have the right to?

The Spiritual Store

2007-04-03T12:52:00.002+05:30

Spirituality is in vogue again. One sees astrologers and soothsayers having a field day. No property ad is deemed complete without the mention of Vaastu. Lifestyle stores are filled to the brim with Feng Shui articles. Alternative therapy like Reiki and Pranic healing have reached every nook and corner imaginable. And the less said about numerology, gemstones etc., the better. Lovely, isn't it? Life's so easy. Change your name, wear a dozen rings, shift to a new house that faces east, keep a few objects here and there, do a 8 hour course on Reiki that gives you immense spiritual powers and you're all set to face the world. The bunch of money you lose in the process is worth it...isn't it? Nothing...no one...can even dream of harming you ever and you're safe - insulated from all the karma you've accumulated.

They say astrologers base their deductions on planetary positions. Since all heavenly bodies follow certain basic rules of physics, this seems very much plausible. But one thing conveniently missing out of this workabout is the involvement of Karma. How does an astrologer factor in the past Karma of a person he hardly knows? And without such a crucial input, are their predictions really that believable? Vaastu specialists are another set that's making hay while the sun shines at its cruellest. Vaastu is a science that works entirely on the principle of air and light circulation. It was written at a time when there were no multistoreyed apartment complexes; when there was a lot of greenery around; when there were no artificial sources of light and when people didn't know a bit about fans or airconditioning. Is the science still just as relevant in its original form? We haven't heard about any research being done on Vaastu in recent times. And then there are name changes and gemstones. Not even worth commenting on.

The general line here is that these things actually bring you prosperity. People tend to forget that its finally only your Karma that brings out results in your life. They tend to ignore the effort they've put in to attain the prosperity. All credit is given to whatever hogwash they went through. I've heard people saying they bore children due to a visit to some temple. Wrong! You bore children because you fornicated buddy! Success is attributed to changes in names. As if the name change changes the person himself. My wife was talking about how a few changes prescribed by a Feng Shui expert (hanging a few objects here and there in the office; changing the size of their letter head from Letter to A4 etc.) brought a sea change to the fortunes of the company she used to work for. Conveniently forgetting that the business they got was something they'd been working on long before the Feng Shui expert stepped in. And as if their prospects noticed the change in their letter head size and immediately changed their opinion about the company. Its true that these things set in motion a reverse psychology. This actually adds on to one's efforts after they've undergone a process like this. But how far is this helpful? Wouldn't a simple realisation that one needs to increase the quantum of their efforts do the same trick? I guess its a matter of choice and people still prefer to be gullible about such facts.

Alternative healing is a slightly different proposition. I don't doubt its authenticity or relevance. Since its all based on the power of the human mind (which borders on the infinite), it sure can be very powerful. But what disturbs me is the crass commercialisation of an ancient science. You have single day Reiki & Pranic Healing courses which proclaim to make you good enough to practice the science at a basic level. These courses are open for anyone who can shell out the required fees for the course, which is "nominal" (I love the lovely positioning at work here). Pay a couple of hundred rupees and become a doctor in a day. There's no qualification procedure in place to judge whether one really has the aptitude for the stuff or not. There's no evaluation done at the end of it. A bunch of people are taken through a day long ritual of some sweet sounding but complex theorising interspersed with some feel-good exercises and presto! They are healers now...with powers to heal the world. And thus is set loose a highly motivated team of sales reps to bring in more of the "nominal" fees.

Karma is all about cause and effect. And this furious spate in the incidence of alternative therapy is actually disturbing the balance of cause and effect. Notice how great prophets were extremely selective in healing people from their maladies. The reason for this is simple. The people who were healed by them had it coming. The healing was actually a part of their Karmic cycle. The prophets were just a medium for them to get through the part in question. How many alternative healers of today actually understand that they might be harming their subjects in the spiritual long-term by giving them an immediate relief? For if the healing is not supposed to be a part of their Karmic cycle, they'll have to go through the balance at some other point in their life. Moreover, the healer adds an extra Karmic debt to the subject in this case. And we'll all agree that the earlier a debt is paid off, the better.

Human civilisation is in an advanced stage of scientific evolution. And as a result of this, is regaining a lot of its old glories - ancient sciences that are extremely powerful. But the scientific evolution should be accompanied by an equal level of intellectual and spiritual evolution too - otherwise these very ancient glories would become dangerous tools in an infant's hands. May The Almighty give us all the strength to achieve the intellectual and spiritual evolution needed.

The taste of India

2007-03-30T10:51:00.002+05:30

India is a big country. And home to cultures as diverse as chalk and cheese. And the diversity just begins at culture. It veers on to the economy, education, information and myriad spheres. But nothing levels this diversity like....aaah...not cricket...I'm talking about the humbler, but far more popular paani-puri/golgappa/puchka/whatever you might call it. Here's my presumption of the stats. More than 80% of the people of the country would have eaten it atleast at one point in their life. And a majority of that do so regularly. I might even be talking about an industry worth a few crores, though mostly in the unorganised sector.

A paani-puri/golgappa/puchka is a small puffed ball of flour filled with a part solid mixture-part spiced water filling. The filling is the beauty here - it differs from region to region. But the fervour is the same - be it for golgappas in the north, puchka in the east and paanipuri in the west and south. Also worth mention is the assortment of other snacks, colloquially and collectively called chaat. Needless to say, the chaat varieties too vary from region to region. Yours truly has been lucky enough to have tasted it in different parts of the country. And this is my tribute to the snack that exemplifies India. A strong unit despite the diversity.

My first tryst with this wonderball was at Faridabad, now almost a satellite town bordering Delhi. I wasn't even into double figures then, chronologically speaking. Every evening, a golgappa vendor would walk through the noisy sector 10 lane where I stayed. And roaring business he did. I remember waiting impatiently for him to reach the vicinity of my house while he'd be busy serving his loyal customers at the beginning of the lane. The golgappas of the north are not for the weak hearted. The filling is made of mashed boiled potatoes mixed with boiled chickpeas, spiced up to the max. The water too, is spicy. One though, has the option of tempering it down with the meethi chutney, a delicious sweet-n-sour sauce made of tamarind, dates and jaggery. And at the end of the golgappa course, the vendor fills up your saucer with a cup of the paani to wash it down with. The golgappas are followed by chaat, the choice being between aloo-ki-tikki (a spicy potato cutlet), dahi bhalla (flour dumplings in whipped curd) and papdi (puris that don't puff while frying). The choice is then topped with the meethi chutney, teekhi chutney (a mint-coriander-chilli chutney) and whipped curd. This is then sprinkled with various spices. The king of north indian chaats, the Aloo-ki-tikki is also served with chhole (a mouthwatering chickpea preparation). Some outlets up north also give you the option of sooji ki puri (puris made of semolina). These are crispier than their atta counterparts.

Although the snack has many names, the most popular among them would be paani-puri. Maybe its the Bombay connection. And till recently, when the vada-pav took over, paani-puri shared the top spot on the snack podium in Bombay with its country cousin, Bhelpuri. Paani-puri in the west is much more mellow as compared to the north. The filling consists of sprouted green gram with a hint of salt and the paani is less spicy with a stronger mint flavour to it. The west is also where the custom of eating your paani-puri with finely chopped onion finds its origin. An alternative filling is ragda (dried white peas boiled in a mellow gravy and left simmering over a low flame). The bonus at the end is a puri sans paani but with the filling and spices sprinkled on top. This is called masala waali puri. The chaats here are different from the north. You get to choose between sevpuri (puris filled with boiled potatoes, meethi and teekhi chutney and garnished with sev, an indian snack I find somewhat difficult to explain); dahipuri and chutneypuri (the same sevpuri with an extra shot of whipped curd and chutney respectively). Then you have ragda-pattice - a potato cutlet topped with ragda and the chutneys. But the royal chat of the west would be bhelpuri. Its a hotchpotch of puffed rice, chopped onions & tomatoes, chopped boiled potatoes, crushed puris and sev, laced with 3 distinct chutneys - the ubiquitous meethi and teekhi chutney with a new partner, a garlic chutney that forms the base of the hotchpotch. Some new age garnishes popular with some outlets in the west are slivered beet and pomegranate seeds.

Puchka is what the wonderball is called in the east. Haven't been lucky enough to have it at a regulation outlet but I did have it at a friend's place, who's usually quite authentic with her bengali dishes. The filling was mashed potatoes and boiled chickpeas and the water a bit on the tangier side. A different, but likeable flavour. And yeah...have eaten at a smattering of bong/bihari roadside stalls in Bangalore as well as Hyderabad. Which brings us to the south. Though its not a snack native to the southern parts, paani-puri has firmly established itself in this region too. The know-how comes from the localised marwari population, that has seeped through to the locals over the ages. Paani-puri in hyderabad has somewhat dampened my passion for it due to the excessive use of tamarind in the paani. That makes it irritatingly sour. And to add onto it, the ragda here is bland...to say the least. Even the chaats are a misnomer - anything and everything looks the same. Its either a hollow samosa or a potato cutlet mashed beyond recognition; sauteed with a scoop of ragda and topped with onions, crushed puris and curd. But then, there are some outlets that do serve you a decent enough fare, though nowhere in the league of what you get in other parts of the country.

Well...that kinda concludes my round up of paani-puri. However, it might seem incomplete without a look into the evolution of this snack from its humble origins to a rage. What exemplifies this metamorphosis the most is a small snippet I came across a year or so ago. It talked about some upmarket pub having hit upon a novel idea. They have liquor puris on their menu. Nothing jazzy...just that the paani has been replaced by a shot of your favourite liqour. And vodka-puris have become one of the top-selling items on their menu.

BOOM...err...rang!!!

2007-03-27T18:33:00.002+05:30

Just the other day I was discussing the theory of Yoga in general and Karma in specific with black_beetle. We both concurred on Karma being akin to a boomerang. And yesterday, I watched what probably is one of the most telling commentaries on Karma ever filmed - Stanley Kubrick's Clockwork Orange. And while the peerless Syd Barrett invigorates my intellect with his Madcap Laughs, I'll try to pen my thoughts on the boomerang theory vis-a-vis Kubrick's masterpiece. Warning : This may contain spoilers.

Let me first introduce you to the boomerang theory. Karma is nothing but action, or if you care about a sudden Einstienesque spurt in my cerebrum, the lack of it. I say lack of action since that constitutes a plethora of activities in itself. And since the human mind is accustomed to great quantums of action even when we're in the deepest of slumber, lack of action would entail a huge amount of energies spent to restrain the boundless flight of the human mind. Hence, hereforth, when I refer to action, it'll also imply the lack of it. Moving forward, every action of ours comes back to us. Just like a boomerang. And to an untrained soul, it sometimes becomes too much to handle. And this happens when the living entity (the body, soul and intellect) starts getting hit from all sides with boomerangs he's himself thrown at some time in the past. And then there are the numerous boomerang it throws in self-defense. That's just the start of the chain reaction. And this is where Yogis are born. A yogi is a trained soul, ie. a soul in sync with its intellect. A yogi is someone who is in control of the boomerangs he throws. So when he throws one, he knows when and how its going to come back at him. This allows him to be prepared to catch it on its return and avoid hurt to the living entity. Now, I don't mean that yogis won't ever make mistakes. But for them, the mistakes are strong learning experiences and they'll take care not to throw a certain boomerang in a certain way if it has hurt them in the past. Guess that was the boomerang theory in a nutshell. I agree that this by itself might not be enough for a complete understanding of the theory, but my scope is much larger here and I'll try and address any specific issues through comments on this post.

Now, the movie. Its a first person narrative of Alexander DeLarge, a degenerate of the top order and his journey through the cycle of reform. We see various facets of Alex in the first few minutes. The only son to a naive and hardworking pair of parents; a nasty teenager with a complete lack of compassion; a spoilt brat with a love for worldly effects; a nocturnal animal who indulges in lawless activities to satiate his hormones; a dagger wielding leader of a gang of similar hoodlums and last, but not the least, an ardent fan of as he himself would put it, "lovely Ludwig van". He's tricked by his own gang and ends up getting 14 years in the bin for murder. This begins a medley of different colours of reforms he undergoes. Starting with the tough prison life, where he finds comfort in the bible (though not in a way one would imagine him to). Then on to being a subject for a revolutionary medical concept, brainwashing criminals into vegetables, for whom the very thought of sex and violence gets nauseating and revolting. The "cured" Alex is released and he finds his brainwashed state conflicting with his instincts. That's when the boomerangs start hitting him. They hit him real hard. And he sees life coming a full circle. Reeling from the boomerang hits, he finds himself at the mercy of a reactionary professor, one of his old victims. This begins the return of the most viciously thrown boomerang depicted in the movie - also the next phase of his reform - an exercise at exploiting his brainwashed state to drive him to suicide. The climax shows Alex in a hospital, recovering from a botched suicide bid. And we see him really "cured". At home with his instincts. A cynical footnote screaming out the hypocrisy of the establishment is thrown in for good measure. But the most hard hitting part of the movie is the last line - "I was cured, all right". Cured he was, because he regained his strongest power. The power to choose, the power to throw the boomerang he wants to. And IMO, that's the cure a majority of humankind needs today.

The cup runneth over

2007-03-24T11:35:00.002+05:30

The Indian team's moment of truth is over. And they came out of it not like the phoenix, but more like a scared novice debuting in a war exercise. The lack of a tactical approach and the lack of application is something I've already talked about and will not care to elaborate further. What hit me in yesterday's match was the lack of self-belief among the Indians. Had it been a team of WC greenhorns, the self-belief factor would've been more understandable. But here was a batting line-up that boasted of the "holy" (not anymore though) triumvirate of Sachin, Saurav and Dravid - three batsmen with more ODI runs between them than any 3 batsmen in the history of ODI's put together. Skipper Dravid had proudly proclaimed a couple of days earlier that Sehwag is back in touch. So, we also had two of the most murderous willows active today - Sehwag and Dhoni. Add to that the youthful exuberance of Yuvraj and Uthappa, what more do you need? As a bonus, they had a record smashing outing in their last match. And although 255 was atleast 20 runs more than the target India should've eyed half-way through the first innings, it was very much doable.

Anyways, lesson learnt. As my friend black_beetle put it when I spoke with him in the morning, "Never support mediocrity in such tournaments.". I wouldn't say that my support for the men in blue stemmed completely from motives of nationality. I had faith in the talent and experience of the team. Though a stray thought in my mind pointed to the inconsistency and docile on-field demenour of the Indians, the optimist in me invariably got the better of it. Alas, the men in blue let me down, along with millions of their supporters worldwide. Am I feeling bad about it? The Indian in me is. He's feeling extremely upset about the fact that his team is out of the showpiece event. The logical thinker in me is trying to temper down these feelings. He says that I shouldn't have kept my bar of expectations so high - I was one of the very few who sincerely believed that the Indians had it in them to get the coveted cup back.

But one part of me is also happy about the goings-on. The cricket lover is happy that so far, the wind has stayed in favour of the talented and the brave. I'm happy about the fact that teams like Bangladesh and Ireland would get the exposure they need at the biggest stage of the game - something that'll do good to them as well as to the game. He's also happy that till now, every match has been won by the better team on the day and that's what the game is all about. India didn't perform, they paid the price. And quoting black_beetle again "The future rounds of the cup would be better off without India".

There's also a scary aspect of the goings-on though. And that's the aftermath of yesterday's result. For starters, heads are going to roll. The skipper, the coach, the selectors. One or more of them are certain to be replaced soon, if my understanding of the way of functioning of Pawar, Shah & co. is correct. The top contender IMO, as things stand now, looks like guru Greg. And yesterday's match was something like a commercial watershed. Industry talk has hinted that Sony will have to take heavy cuts in the ad revenue for the future rounds in the absence of India. And this won't stop just at that. The result is going to bring a sharp downfall in cricket viewership in India, thus affecting the revenue coming from the game in a big way. And since an overwhelming majority of cricket moeny worldwide comes from Indian companies, the aftershocks will be felt all over. Does one see a relationship between this scenario and what I referred to as responsible reporting by the cricketing "elite" in my last but one post?

Anyways, time for some fun now. Did anyone ever give a thought to the small snippet that India still has a theoretical chance to go through to the next round? If Bermuda manages to beat the Banglas, India would tie with B'desh on points and scamper through on NRR. With the kind of money involved, doesn't it give enough fodder for the conspiracy theorists to come up with the idea of the Bermuda-B'desh match getting fixed?

The infinite joy of parenting

2007-03-20T09:10:00.002+05:30

I recall a small conversation between an ex-boss of mine (He's departed now, may his soul rest in peace) and myself when my wife was carrying. He, a father of two, was teasing me. Quoting his words, "You have no idea what's gonna hit you for the first 3 years of being a parent.". And he followed it up with a jocular laugh. And the customary rejoinder was not far behind, "I was just kidding yaar", he said. And as my daughter approaches her second birthday with boundless packets of energy, I can't get enough of telling myself how true my ex-boss' words were. I have no idea what hits me every moment I spend with the lil 'un, but there's no doubt its what our scriptures describe as Satchidananda - Eternal Joy.

For starters, the girl shows an above average intelligence. She's hardly 22 months old but is already showing signs of being a linguist. She's at ease understanding 4 languages (English, Hindi, Konkani and Telugu) and can converse quite a bit in telugu and konkani. Living in a multilingual environment definitely helps - my wife being a telugu speaker, my mother tongue being konkani and our medium of communication shuffling between english and hindi. And it doesn't stop at languages. She can count till ten. No...not just recite numbers from one to ten...but actually count objects. She can distinguish between vehicles (buses, cars, bikes, scooters, cycles) quite accurately. And yes...how can one forget identifying a smattering of animals, fruits and veggies (not just from her picture books, but also in real). She knows where different things are kept in the fridge and reaches out accurately for butter, chocolates and juice whenever she wants any. She's extremely inquisitive too and is already asking questions way beyond her age.

Another quality in her that adds to my joy is her compassion. She truly cares. She cares for her mother and father, her aunt and grandmother, her friends, the pet mongrel downstairs and anyone else within the spectrum of her radar. Never has she eaten anything without sharing it with whoever else is around. The slightest of inconvenient feelings around her affect her disposition. And if she sees happiness around her, her energy and excitement increase multifold.

And her last, but not the least endearing quality is her expressiveness. Her face can be used for a body language video. Her eyes give out her feelings so clearly. And she knows how to shade her lovely smile the right way - mischievous, affectionate, happy, imploring. By the Almighty's grace, she doesn't have a sarcastic smile yet. As I mentioned above, she's on her way to be a linguist. She also uses her verbal skills to the best of her abilities. And her kisses and hugs are magical touches that give you a high no narcotic can ever give.

Well...I wish that this joy remains throughout my stint at parenthood. Some people may call it wishful thinking, but I've enjoyed being an optimist and a romantic. And as a firm believer in Karma, I know we can shape destinies. So why not this?

The opening salvo

2007-03-19T14:16:00.003+05:30

"India shock India" screamed the newspaper headlines yesterday. The titans had crashed to their most humiliating defeat ever in World Cup history. Save for the 1996 semi-final fiasco in the eden gardens, no other defeat will pinch the Indian cricket fraternity as this one. True...Bangladesh played with the abandon of one who has nothing to lose, but didn't they also have everything stacked against them right from the beginning? They were facing a team fresh from 2 emphatic wins in warm-up games, including one against the Windies, who have been displaying some mercurial talent over the past few months. They were playing on probably the most unpredictable track among all the cup venues. And they were a grieving lot, having recently lost one of their former teammates. Full credit to the hitherto unheralded, and often ridiculed lions from Bangladesh, who took all adversity in their stride and even got on top of it with grace. And this is one point where I agree with the general opinion.

Where I don't agree with the general opinion is the reason why India lost the match. Armchair critics and the junta alike are unanimous in shouting from the rooftops that India lost due to the lack of application in the middle. According to me, though that was a factor that contributed to our downfall, that wasn't the only one. There were three major tactical errors that if avoided in hindsight, could have well allowed India to get away with even the much-maligned lack of application. I'll come to that in a moment. But before that, I'd like to elaborate a bit on the nomenclature used by me to classify the voices of the cricket "elite" and fans.

I was texting a friend during the match and we also had a couple of quick conversations during the match and a long one after it. Now, this friend is what I've classified as "Junta". These are the ones who form the bulwark of the economic momentum of cricket in India. The passionate fan, who unfortunately, is also not well conversant with the tactical nitty-gritties of the game. During my text and telephone conversation, lines like "India has lost 2 quick wickets, and the rest won't stay for long either."; "Every strong team is scoring big. India should have scored atleast 280." etc. flowed. The "junta" sees the game in a very unidimensional light, and for them, good batting is all about hitting the ball as hard as you can and possibly scoring atleast 2 boundaries in every over. And good bowling is about every ball being either a yorker, a vicious turner or a copybook swinger. They form opinions on the game based on their own passion and also what the "elite" say. The "elite" or the armchair critics as I'd like to call them are the "expert" commentators who're having a field day on sports and news channels. And they are the ones who I really have a bone to pick with. Because the "junta" forms its opinions based on what they say. Guess I've made myself clear with the definitions. So lets move on to the reasons why India lost.

I mentioned 3 major tactical decisions that more or less cost us the match even before the first ball was bowled. Two of these decisions were selection errors. First being the exclusion of Kumble from the team. I don't see any reason why India's most successful bowler in the Carribean should have sat out. Ideally, the playing XI for this match should've had 7 batsmen, 2 pacers and 2 spinners; with atleast 3 of the batsmen offering bowling possibilities. This, because the track was tricky. And spin being our strength, our spinners could have extracted more from the track than our swing bowlers. And even if they wanted to emphasise on swing, I don't see why the best swinger of the ball in the current squad, Pathan should have been left out. The bowling line-up had no logic backing it. And there was the curious case of Sehwag's inclusion. I've been a strong votary of supporting guys with a slump in form. But this was taking the support too far. The fact that Sehwag had not performed well in the warm-up games goes to show that his inclusion was more of an emotional decision rather than one based on some gameplan or logic. This too, could have been avoided. Karthik had a better claim for the other opener's slot on the basis of some doughty performances in the recent past. The third, and the most crucial error, though I'd like to give Jammy the benefit of doubt here, was the decision to bat first. There was a devil in the pitch in the earlier part of the day, which was well evident from the dismissals of Dravid and Sachin, and the Banglas exploited it to the maximum. This also gave Bangladesh the psychological boost that they beautifully capitalised on, in the second innings.

Now, my mention of these reasons is not to take away anything from the Bangladeshis. They deserve every pat on their back for their performance. And neither am I trying to exonerate the Indian team's lifeless performance from its part in the defeat. All I'm trying to say here is that the "elite" should be a little more broad-minded while handing over their "verdicts" on the match. Their ultimate aim should be to educate the junta on the aspects of the game that have escaped them so far. This, in the long run, will prove to be extremely beneficial to us as it would help shape us into a mature cricketing audience. And we could well be the leading lights of decorum to emerge from the sub-continent, where the crowds are popular for being passionate but also notorious for being fickle too - a reputation we can do without.

The journey begins

2007-03-17T16:46:00.003+05:30

Although I've been familiar with the concept of blogging for quite some time now, this happens to be my first active foray into the actual blog world. The first thing that stumped me was writing about myself in my profile. Mind you, this is something I've done umpteen times in the past and have always ended up with atleast one point that I wanted to mention but could not. But things were different here. I just couldn't write anything there. Is this something others might've experienced too? Or was I just being too paranoid about the whole concept of blogging? I mean...when we were younger, a lot of us used to maintain diaries. And these diaries would be a reflection of the owner's inner feelings. More or less on the same lines as blogs are supposed to be. But that's where the similarities ended. The diaries were sacrosanct. Utterly private. Nobody but the owner would be privy to whats in it. Quite unlike a blog which is open to the whole world to see. But then...what the heck? What if my feelings are out there in public domain? Aren't feelings supposed to be voiced? Isn't it a psychological no-no to keep your feelings bottled up? Though I never kept a diary, I always had a lot on my mind. Things I wanted to say, things I wanted others to listen to and react, things I wanted to stir discussions on. And here I am. They say, better late than never. So Mr.Narcissus...or Mr.Narcissus' understudy....whoever I am....welcome to Blog World! And may your reign here last long.

Amen!